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Symptoms of Affair withdrawal
How to quit having an affair: Support for people wanting to prevent or survive Infidelity and cheating in relationships ...
When you end the affair, you might get a feeling of “withdrawal.” As I stated above, being in an affair is a lot like being addicted to a drug. This means that when you end the affair you will have to go through the uncomfortable experience of withdrawal before you can be “clean” again.
There are three major emotional symptoms of affair withdrawal: anger, anxiety, and depression. Why you might have these emotions should be fairly self-explanatory at this point..
The Three Symptoms of Affair withdrawal - Tips about affair withdrawl symptoms, how to avoid temptation of seeing or communicating with the affair partner, and repairing your relationship.
During this time, you are in a vulnerable position. Like an addict,
you might be tempted to use your favorite drug again. You might be
tempted to contact your lover again to help calm the force of your
Doing so is a little bit like a heroin addict in recovery who says they are “just going to do a little hit to make the pain go away.” This is clearly a terrible idea. If you do this, it is likely you will be tempted to start using again, end up back in the affair, and undo all the difficult work you have done up to this point.
Do not, I repeat, do notł attempt to contact your lover. This will destroy your relationship.
Emergency Affair Withdrawal Plan & Relationship Saving Strategies
how to withdraw from an affair
Instead, reinvest in repairing your
relationship. This is liable to be difficult as well, particularly if
you have just informed your partner about the affair. If you are talking
to your partner at all, it is likely that your communication is negative
and difficult. It is unlikely that you will be getting a great deal of
positive feedback from your partner at this point and this is bound to
make you feel emotionally disconnected. This could worsen your
If you feel that you have had your needs met in this affair in a way that they haven’t been met in your relationship, there is going to be a time when you need to address those problems with your partner. That time isn’t now. I say this here to help you have hope that you can get what you need out of your relationship and not feel compelled to continue going outside it to fulfill those needs.
Remember that you are going through this painful time for a reason: you want to heal your relationship. You can look at this difficult period as a necessary step to straightening out the mess you have made of your relationship. Like an addict, there may be a period of time in which you suffer. Going through that is the first step to putting your life back on the right course.
Keep in mind that when you maintain the course of recovery through this rough period, the reward is a relationship that is better than you ever dreamed. Use the strategies you have learned up to this point to overcome your negative feelings, and hang tight in your determination to rebuild your relationship. Your efforts will pay off.
None of this will be easy. You will likely face quite a lot of emotional difficulty when you end the affair. Nonetheless, it is necessary to face this pain in order to restore your relationship.learn more
Emotional Affair Withdrawal: Neglecting Your Own Needs
Have you ever taken the time to stop and consider what you need out of
your relationship? If you have, do you express these needs openly and
honestly with your partner without blaming them for not having filled
these needs? Or are you one of the many people out there who feel they
don’t have any needs, don’t deserve to have any needs, or don’t deserve
to have their needs met?
Too many people operate inside relationships without ever looking to fulfill their own needs in those relationships. Either they fail to see their own needs or they fail to communicate their needs with their partners. This can happen for a great many reasons.
Some people are convinced that they “don’t need anything.” These people are often closed up and have trouble looking at and accepting their emotional responses to what happens in their relationships. If you are the type of person who says, “I’m okay; I don’t need anything,” a lot of the time, you might fall into this category.
Others might know that they have needs, but feel that they are undeserving somehow and that expressing these needs belies a kind of selfishness on their parts, or they might be afraid they will come across as demanding or that expressing their needs might make their partners angry. Thus, they refuse to communicate their needs to their partners.
Still others know that they have needs and feel okay about this fact,
but they don’t have the tools to properly communicate what they need.
Everyone has needs. You entered into a relationship in order to fulfill those needs. There is no shame in this. There is no reason to deny the needs you have. Doing so will only harm your relationship.
When you neglect your own needs, you put your partner in a very precarious position. You implicitly suggest to them that they should be able to fulfill your needs without even knowing what they are. In some cases, you are asking your partner to fulfill needs that you aren’t completely clear you have.
Think about asking your partner to go to the grocery store to pick up groceries. There would be quite a problem in doing this if you didn’t tell your partner what groceries you need. Now, imagine that your partner did go to the grocery store for you, even though you didn’t communicate what you needed, and returned with the wrong items. You might become angry or upset because they purchased the wrong groceries.
Leaving your partner in the dark like this is a heavy burden and can make your partner feel inept because they do not understand you better, angry because you aren’t telling them what you need, and frustrated because they can’t give you what you require, even if they are willing and able and want to please you.
On the flip side, you end up feeling that your partner is being
unfair because they can’t accommodate you (though you might not have
been clear on what you needed in the first place). Underneath this, you
probably feel as though you cheated yourself by not communicating what
you needed to begin with. Neglect is a terrible trap.
In a situation like this, either party can be driven to using this as justification for looking outside the relationship for love and understanding. When you neglect your own needs and then, subsequently, resent your partner for not fulfilling these needs, you might be tempted to go outside the relationship in the hope that someone else can give you what your partner couldn’t.
On the other hand, you might have been neglecting your needs and inadvertently putting the weight of the responsibility on your partner. This doesn’t serve your partner in any way, and they could then be tempted to find someone who is more forthcoming with what they require.
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FREE Report: Discover Exactly What You Need to Do and Say to Save your Relationship Immediately after the Affair
Read this FREE report and discover the 21 most-effective steps marriage counselors are using to give couples improved odds at ending the affair, rebuilding the honesty and wiping the slate clean to build a ‘better than ever marriage or relationship.
There is nothing quite like the pain and shock caused when a partner has
been unfaithful. The hurt partner often experiences a profound loss of
self-respect and falls into a depression that can last for years.
Cheating whilst in a relationship is probably the most hurtful thing one can do to their significant other. It ends up not only hurting the ego; it can make someone feel very insecure about themselves. Both the unfaithful partner and the betrayed one can confront their doubts and fears about recommitting, constructively communicate pain and anger, restore trust, renew sexual intimacy and forgive
Assuming that the affair is definitely over and that both partners want to continue their relationship -- and that’s often a big "If" in these situations -- their first priority should be the restoration of trust. While the person who had the affair is held accountable for his or her behavior, relationship counseling provides a safe, confidential, and balanced environment in which everyone works together to explore and rebuild the relationship.
Discover how to survive an affair and save your marriage or relationship by ending the pain, healing the wounds and restoring the trust, even if you are the only one who wants to and before it's too late ... Having to face an affair in your relationship or marriage can be extremely confusing ... just getting from one day to the next can be an incredible chore.
And although there are certain attributes in relationships that may give someone the need to find sexual affection and gratification elsewhere, cheating usually results from a dissatisfaction of sorts. Right now, you are probably feeling as though someone has either punched you in the stomach or stabbed you in the back -- or even both.
Free Help & Advice About, Infidelity, Affairs & Cheating
- Saving Your Marriage With Trust and Love - Saving Your Marriage is a step-by-step program designed to stop a break up or divorce and save relationships. This is an excellent alternative to relationship counseling because it helps the couple learn what's broken in their relationship and then shows them how to fix it.
- How To Survive The Affair - How to Survive an Affair helps a couple work through a 3-phase healing plan designed to rebuild the trust and honesty back into the marriage. Program workbook along with bonus programs.
- How To Forgive When You've been Betrayed - Learn how to forgive and work through the past. This workbook teaches couples to understand the true principles of forgiveness.
- How To Communicate With Emotionally Distant Men - Why do men get distant? Emotionally distant men don't communicate. Why do men hide their feelings? Learn about men who hide their feelings, why men get distant, how to communicate with emotionally distant men, and what to do when men become emotionally distant and hide there feelings. Free help communicating with an emotionally distant man..
- Why Men Withdraw And What To Do About It - Men who withdraw and why men withdraw. Learn why men withdraw in a relationship, how men withdraw themselves from a relationship, men who are afraid of love, and what to do about it when they close up.
- Why Men Leave Women - Reasons men leave women. Learn why men leave women when the honeymoon is over, and what to do about it. There are many reasons why men leave relationships or cannot settle down with the woman they're with. Learn what they are and how to stop him from leaving you..
- [book] How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair: A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful - While trying to cope with the pain of knowing that their partners have cheated, victims of infidelity have to wrestle with two big questions: whether to stay in the relationship and, if they do stay, how to best prevent experiencing this kind of hurt ever again. In this book, two relationship experts offer readers a new way of understanding the causes and types of infidelity and innovative new ways to "affair-proof" recovered or new relationships.
- [book] Getting Past the Affair: A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On -- Together or Apart - Whether you want to end the relationship or piece things back together, Getting Past the Affair guides you through the initial trauma so you can understand what happened and why before deciding how to move forward. Based on the only program that’s been tested--and proven--to relieve destructive emotions in the wake of infidelity, this compassionate book offers support and expert advice from a team of award-winning couple therapists.
- [book] My Husband's Affair Became the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me - This book makes a wonderful contribution to the growing willingness of couples to "break the code of silence" and share their experience with affairs in order to help others. It offers clear insight into the pain involved as well as great hope for the power to recover and rebuild the marriage. Peggy Vaughan, author of "The Monogamy Myth" and Host of www.dearpeggy.com
- [book] Not "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity - This is the most comprehensive book on affairs that I have ever read and the only one that completely reflects the reality of affairs. No matter how many other books you have read on this subject, read this one. It is absolutely wonderful!
- [book] After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful - For married or cohabiting couples who want to rebuild their relationship after one partner had had an affair, this tough-minded, insightful manual will be eminently practical. Clinical psychologist Spring, writing with her husband, draws on 20 years of experience treating distressed couples as she explains how both the unfaithful partner and the betrayed one can confront their doubts and fears about recommitting, constructively communicate pain and anger, restore trust, renew sexual intimacy and forgive.
- [book] When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts & Minds of People in Two Relationships - When Good People Have Affairs will be a lifeline to any man or woman who feels caught between two lovers, and its insights are indispensable to anyone else touched by an affair. A world-renowned therapist, Mira Kirshenbaum has treated thousands of people caught in the powerful drama over what to do when an affair rocks their emotional lives.
- [book] Intimacy After Infidelity: How to Rebuild and Affair-Proof Your Marriage - While trying to cope with the pain of knowing that their partners have cheated, victims of infidelity have to wrestle with two big questions: whether to stay in the relationship and, if they do stay, how to best prevent experiencing this kind of hurt ever again. In this book, two relationship experts offer readers a new way of understanding the causes and types of infidelity and innovative new ways to "affair-proof" recovered or new relationships.