Forgiveness is love’s revolution against life’s unfairness. When we forgive, we ignore the normal laws that strap us to the natural law of getting even and, by the alchemy of love, we release ourselves from our own painful pasts. We may talk about turning the other cheek and forgiving those who have wronged us, but it is not a simple thing to do. The problem usually lies within the whirling tornado of emotions that are at the center of this act. It is the hardest trick in the bag of personal relationships.
It is important not to confuse forgiveness with other similar acts. Forgiveness is not excusing, smothering conflict, accepting people, or tolerance. When you forgive the person who hurt you deeply and unfairly, you perform a miracle that has no equal. Nothing else is the same. Forgiving has its own feel and its own color and its own climax, different from any other creative act in the repertoire of human relationships.
There are four stages in the process of forgiveness beginning with the hurt that precipitates the crisis and causes us pain that will not go away. We must acknowledge that first. The second stage is hate when all our feelings of anger and righteous indignation come to the surface. The third stage is healing; you are given the ‘magic eyes’ to see the person who hurt you in a new light. Your memory is healed, you turn back the flow of pain and are free again. The fourth stage is the coming together where you affect a reconciliation and invite the person back into your life at the right time ( which doesn’t always mean now). The major healing takes place within us thanks to the love and freedom that blooms in us.
It is best to practice forgiveness a little at a time. Ordinary people forgive best if they go at it in bits and pieces, and for specific acts. We bog down if we try to forgive people in the grand manner, because wholesale forgiving is almost always fake. Forgiving anything at all is a minor miracle; forgiving carte blanche is silly. Nobody can do it. Except God. And the first rule for mere human beings in the forgiving game is to remember that we are not God. Below, I want to share with you the doorway to freedom. It’s a way to begin healing yourself TODAY.
Enlightenment cannot enter through a closed door. Forgiveness is the doorway to enlightenment or love consciousness, for without completing forgiveness you cannot move on. It will always be the anchor that holds you back. Sooner or later you must do it for your own sake. “Unforgiveness” is a poison in your system that will rob you of your spiritual life. If you hate one soul you will never be able to love another completely. The poison in your system will pollute your experience of love with everyone and everything in life.
“Unforgiveness” spills over into other aspects of your life and stains your experiences. When the time comes for true forgiveness, open yourself to your God and invite the Holy Spirit to enter, to cleanse the cellular memory of all the negative energy stored in there and dissolve with love the patterns you hold about others that you have not forgiven. The vibration at this time can be so strong as to make your ego or logical mind start having fearful thoughts.
Remember God created us to experience perfection and beauty. When the Holy Spirit meets our darkness, “bad” things happen in our best interest. Do not judge the situation let it be. We cannot hate one Soul and love another. For our own sake we need to forgive one another, to be kind and considerate to each other and show tolerance. When we hold resentment in our hearts and minds we poison our beings with dark energies that foster anger that we then suppress and deny. This dishonoring of our being brings emotional pain that destroys our qualities of life. Every experience that comes to us is filtered through this unforgiving attitude, thereby diluting our enjoyment and experience of the joy of being alive.
THE LOSS OF SPIRITUAL LIFE
Vague shadows lurk in the background and forever blunt our edge. The dullness of our experience robs us of our spirituality. We know there should be more, but we can never quite fully experience what we feel we should. The shadows of resentment keep our spiritual light from shining through, never allowing us to fully experience who we are.
HONORING THE LESSONS
The longer we hold hard thoughts or feelings of animosity, the weaker our light becomes, and consequently the deeper the hurt from our own dishonoring. The anger grows and grows. No matter what the perceived sin is against us, eventually forgiveness is seen to be the only doorway to freedom. All of the denial and suppression must be reversed in order that our spirit be set free and our heritage of a full and joyous spiritual life be realized while still on the earth plane.
Anger is the state that divides and separates spiritual beings experiencing physical life. The damage is self-inflicted. The person who holds the resentment is the victim of their own anger and does little or no damage to their perceived enemies. The people closest to them become secondary victims. As they weave their karmic web, they draw others into their play, intensifying and complicating what could have been a wonderful and simple experience.
Nevertheless, the play that is happening is learning and growth, so to judge it as wrong would be another misperception of the truth. With all of life, options are there for us. The choice of how we learn is ours; no matter how it appears to others, it is our choice. As we watch another learning, we must honor that person and the path of learning that he or she has chosen. Judgment is not the way. Love and tolerance will open the door to spiritual freedom.
FACING OUR GREATEST FEAR
Pain in the heart is the energy of love pushing against a blocked emotion contained there. Forgiveness shakes our very foundation and belief that we are the victim and we are righteous in our anger. This belief pattern must go if we are to progress. Holding onto anger keeps us on the path of self-destruction. Justifying our behavior is an indication that we are out to convince others that we have a right to be angry, and hatred of another soul is completely OK because of what they did to us. Justification and self-elevation above others is the most divisive and destructive path that the ego can take us on.
In the experience of resentment, we are pushed further from our light than at any other time, because anger and hatred are the opposite of love. The festering inner wound will never heal and allow us to move forward until the door of forgiveness is reached. At this moment, depending on the intensity of the experience, the strongest person can cry and shiver like a frightened child deep in the experience of a nightmare. At this time you see the wrongs you have done to yourself.
Yet in all of this, the gentle prompting from our own divinity never really lets us forget who we are, it is the inner voice of sanity. This voice is our link to the inner Light, to our conscience; the whispering of our Soul; the comforting words of our God self; our true being; the doorway through which enlightenment will come. Discard the shackles of many lifetimes and embrace who you are. The fear perpetuated by the ego needs to be faced and seen for the illusion that it is, that which robs us of our spiritual life.
HONORING OUR MAGNIFICENCE
When we stand before the light of who we are and prepare to allow the light to enter our darkness, the fear of accumulated lifetimes in our cellular memory trembles in a way that defies any description. The pain of release goes to the very core of our beings. Yet throughout all of this, another energy stands close by, allowing but comforting, never interfering, but strengthening us. The time is at hand to honor our true magnificence. The light beckons us to come home. The lessons you have chosen are refining and purifying you to accept your rightful place in the universe.
MY EXPERIENCE OF FORGIVENESS
My father was an alcoholic from the time he was a very young man, and he carried within him a lot of pain and anger. Unfortunately, he carried that anger with him until his death at 86 years of age – a terribly long time. The effect on children of alcoholic parents is well-known; rather than regurgitate all the details, suffice it to say I had never forgiven him.
On an intellectual level I had forgiven him, but in my heart I had not. It seems a small point, but our minds tell us one thing, but in our hearts we know better. During those early healing times, it became my habit to stand and allow the spirit guides to work with my body, teaching me how to tune into them and anticipate mentally and physically what part of the body I should focus on next. All of this exercise was done alone, and greatly helped open physical and mental channels for a more efficient working partnership. These became my practice sessions.
After a clairvoyant friend had mentioned on numerous occasions that my father was around me quite a lot, I became alerted once by the spirit guides that he was here during a practice session. I felt this to be unusual as he had passed over barely two years before. Why was he around so much? My learning had taught me that he possibly should be being helped on to another level, not be visiting the earth plane so soon. With prompting from my guides I finally arrived at the conclusion that he needed my forgiveness before moving on. This realization shocked me. Had I been responsible for his staying back, earth bound? What happened next will be with me forever.
The spirit guides brought him to me, and because my sense of psychic touch had developed, I could feel his energy field moving closer to me. I can never describe to you the emotional sensations that began to move about inside me and then move to the surface. Refusing to be held in check any longer, my emotional dam wall cracked and then flooded out, demanding expression. Tears of release poured forth, so painful but so sweet.
My arms were lifted from my side to embrace my father as I had never done in my 54 years. My pain of withheld love expressed itself. The sobbing slowly abated as did the pain in my throat as all the unsaid words were released. To feel my father in my arms as he really is and was moved me in such a way that I feel it was a gift of pure grace. To have faith is one thing, to know and experience is another. At that moment I knew death to be a fraud. Life is eternal.
Next I was asked to pray for my father. This I did with much passion and love. During this prayer, my father was surrounded by a ball of golden light. He was then sent into the light to begin his journey once more in spirit. He had been released from the lower astral plane with love, something he had needed from me all of his life…love.
All was not done yet. As my communication was rough to say the least, this whole exercise had taken nearly two hours to get it right. Soon I understood that I needed to pray for myself. The Guides were most pleased that I understood this last request quickly.
My prayer for forgiveness was filled with the emotion still flowing from the experience of my father. As I prayed I became lighter and lighter, understanding that my burdens were being lifted. Our emotional burdens will be taken piece by piece over time, and though this one was large and heavy, it was leaving at once. The forgiveness that I had asked for was for my dishonoring of myself. As a divine being we dishonor ourselves with unforgiveness as much as the person we need to forgive.
The next day while driving to work, I realized that a knot in my stomach that had accompanied me all of my life had gone. My thoughts turned to my father. I felt a smile on my face and a feeling of love for him in my heart for the first time. It was a warm love, with a depth of feeling I had never felt before. How wonderful it is to know that it is never too late to forgive. Knowing where he was made me feel warm inside. The fear of death had been washed away. As I was to find out later in my healing experiences, “Those who work in the light have no fear.”
Once true forgiveness is completed with one soul, it is done for every soul. Forgiveness will reside in your heart from that day forward. When this lesson is completed, we need not keep repeating something we now understand totally. The lesson of forgiveness shows us that love is the only experience we ever want in our hearts forever.
The stain on ourselves is so damaging when we do not practice forgiveness that another awakening occurs through the realization of our own incredibly thoughtless acts. As we see our ignorance, we see our path to enlightenment. The horror of our actions repels us so much, we seek forgiveness for ourselves. In this act of seeking, we see the need to forgive others, no matter what they may have done. The freedom forgiveness brings us is total.
TWO TYPES OF FORGIVENESS
There are two types of forgiveness, and the first one we try is the intellectual path. The ego is in control here. We say with a grandiose wave of the arm, “Oh I have forgiven them for that,” making light of the whole subject and busying ourselves in a big selling job on ourselves and on the other person or persons we are speaking to.
The second path is through the heart where we become defenseless. Now all of the emotional pain from the heart and body is released in the most wonderful act of cleansing. This path takes courage and honesty with yourself; every cell in your body holds the fear. It is powerful, painful and wonderful all at once, an experience you will always remember and cherish because you have just been reborn. You now have new eyes through which to perceive the world. Strange but beautiful things occur when you release through the heart, allow the fear to be there and drop your ego’s defenses. You CAN do it.
When you forgive, you do it with your whole being. You become as a child again without defenses. Any form of defense will stop forgiveness. The river of love that flows through us is the inner pathway.
We may or may not enlighten ourselves by standing on our heads in the corner of the room, or by saying prayers continuously like a parrot, or by focusing on an object for the purpose of stilling the mind or by any spiritual practice that disciplines our bodies. When we forgive ourselves and others, we have opened the floodgate so that the river of life can flow through us and change our consciousness. While snippets of resentment may arise, or anger may pop up, we immediately replace it with love, fully realizing that we do not want to go on that path ever again.
It is essential that all stains of unforgiveness are washed away. To truly love another soul this must happen. If you have not forgiven your Father or Mother, your ex partner or anyone that you perceive has wronged you, then you can never fully experience love or give love fully to another. Once the Creator’s love flows through our hearts, the spring cleaning begins, and it’s not always a bed of roses.
Do not stress that you have not forgiven. As love changes your mind, it is inevitable that forgiveness will come. True forgiveness comes in its own time. When love opens the door, we constantly correct and refine our behavior, gradually bringing ourselves to a state of love where fear will not exist.
If you hold a strong desire to become the loving soul that you know you are, it must happen.