Feel the Joy of Your Unfulfilled Desires

You don’t stop very often to think about how you are feeling. And yet, how you are feeling is everything. How you are feeling is your point of attraction. How you are feeling is your asking from the Universe. How you are feeling is everything that is coming to you!

Most of you have not discovered that the Universe is conspiring to assist you. And so you work hard from an attitude of unworthiness, from a feeling that you are not enough, from a feeling that you have to justify. And what I want you to begin to do is recognize that the Universe is responding to the way you feel. So think about the way you feel.

Don’t think so much about what you’re thinking or about what you have or about how you compare with your actions or your possessions to others. Instead, think about how you feel. Ask yourself, “Am I sitting here in a feeling of well-being? Do I feel intimidated? Do I feel self-conscious? Do I feel inadequate? Do I feel unworthy? Or do I feel pretty good? Do I feel cocky? Do I feel full of myself? Do I feel in love with life? Do I feel exhilarated? Am I feeling fun? Am I feeling some passion?” How you’re feeling is what your point of attraction is.

Your Point of Attraction

If you’re feeling unworthy, you can work day and night, night and day, every day, and yet not allow the very things that you want to flow, because your vibration is not allowing it, and the Universe cannot buck your current. How you’re feeling is everything. So if I were standing in your physical shoes, I would let the contrast naturally produce the desire, because it will.

And when I feel a desire within me, I would look at it, I would recognize the weirdness of it, I would recognize how unfamiliar it feels, and then I would do what is my work: I will do the work that I have been born to do: My work is to take that new desire and play with it in my mind’s eye, until it feels familiar, until it feels like the manifestation of it is the next logical step.

The goal must exist to summon the Energy, but the goal can’t matter that much — or it stops the Energy.

Let us bring this to a place that if you get this, you will have quantum leaped into a new place of deliberate attraction: Most everybody stands here, dissatisfied to some degree, longing to be over there. But the whole point of that point of attention to over there is not to get over there. The whole point of the goal or the desire is that the desire summons Life Force through you.

That’s why you’re always wanting another goal, another goal, another goal. That’s why I say you will never get it done. So, “Why do I want that?” It’s an interesting thing, isn’t it? The goal must exist to summon the Energy, but the goal can’t matter that much, or it stops the Energy. You’re wanting the goal for the sake of the Energy that will flow through you, not for the sake of the manifestation.

A woman, one day, said to me, “I don’t think you care if my lover ever comes to me. I think you want me to envision him so clearly that in my mind’s eye, he is real — so real, that it doesn’t matter that he’s not really there.” And I said, that’s exactly right. I know when she feels him in that way, the pain will be gone from her, and the Life Force will flow through her, and all of her goals will be achieved. And I also know, then he must come. But it is not about him coming. It is about him being a goal that is reason for her to focus, that causes Life Force to flow through her. It is about the Life Force flowing through her.

I am delighted that you have unfulfilled goals, because as long as you have desire, Life Force is still flowing through you. From our Nonphysical perspective, I see the unfulfilled goal as the constant summoning of life. You say, “We want fulfilled goals!” And I say, Your goals will all be fulfilled when you get over being so unhappy that they’re not fulfilled — when you start being satisfied in the un-fulfillment!

The Cycle of Creation

Here I am. Here is this contrast that gives birth to a new desire. The new desire feels weird in the beginning, because this is where I’m used to vibrating. So I look at it; I talk about it; I visualize it; I play with it; I imagine it until it becomes familiar — and now it is the vibration that is me. And now we are one.

Now I have a new platform from which to examine contrast, which gives birth to another desire, which is also weird in the beginning. I’m a failure’ again; I haven’t succeeded. But I look at it; I visualize it; I find the feeling place of it; it gets familiar; I imagine it; and it becomes the next logical step. It manifests, and now here I am again… You never stop that cycle so long as you all shall live — which is forever.

You should say, “I will go forth into this physical time/space reality, because this is the best environment that I know of that will keep producing new desire within me. And nothing in all of the Universe is more delicious than to have new desire within me!”

Celebrate the desire that is within you, and stop cursing the fact that it isn’t fulfilled! It is the desire that is within you that is worth everything — it is life itself! You keep thinking that it must be manifested before you can feel good, and that is backwards. The fact that it exists is the reason for the Life Force.

There isn’t anything that you want or have ever wanted, or anybody has ever wanted or ever will want that is for any other reason than this: You want it because you think, in the having of it, you will feel better. And I am here to say to you, you want it because in the wanting of it, Life Force is summoned through you — and you are more alive. You are in the flow.

Being In The Flow is having goals that cause Energy to flow through you. It is being in such a place of expectation and acceptance of your eternal motion forward, that you are eternally in the flow. So people say, “How are you doing?” And you say, “Great!” And they say, “Well, is there anything not going well with you?” And you say, “Everything always goes well with me!” And they say, “Oh, but I see there are all these things incomplete in your experience.” And you say, “Yeah, isn’t it great? That means I’m still alive. I still have wanting, I’m still summoning life. That means I still have the future ahead of me. That means Life Force is still flowing.”

Have you ever found yourself eating an ice cream cone and wanting to make it last? Do you find yourself ever in a sexual interlude or in a delicious book, wanting it to last? You can tell you’re getting to the end of it, and you don’t want it to be over? You know that feeling of savoring? That’s the way we’re wanting you to be with your goals. And that may be why you’re not so eager to get on with the completion of everything. You’re recognizing that you have all of this life before you — so much wonderful stuff to do — never getting it done.

Where you now are is the perfect place to be, the perfect place to move from, the perfect place from which to attract. Nothing is inappropriate with where you are. There’s not one reason in this world for you to feel anything but proud about where you are and eager about what it will produce for you.

All things are possible. Oh, you can’t even begin to get your thoughts around what is before you! But you see, none of you are ever asked (and it’s a wonderful thing) to stand here and plan everything forevermore. Just stand where you are and let the natural desire that is born out of that come into alignment with you. That’s your work: Contrast produces it. You feel it, recognize it, and then line up your Energy with it.

You are born into an environment that will produce the goals. Your work is then to choose from those goals, focus, as the creator that you are, and in your focusing, allow the Energy to flow to the completion of those goals. There are endless possibilities.

So many of you spend your lifetimes arguing about what is an appropriate goal. I’m not kidding when I say you cannot get it wrong. There are no actions that are deemed inappropriate as such. Sometimes people say, you scare us, because as you talk about absolute freedom, we are afraid that you might give people permission to do bad things to other people.

Whether I give them permission or not, everybody’s going to do what they’re going to do, and you can’t get enough laws into place to keep that from happening. But I promise you, no one would ever do anything bad to any other at the same time they were connected to Source Energy. You never connect to Source Energy and lash out against anyone else.

As you are pushing against wrongdoers, even though they might be really doing wrong, your pushing against them disconnects you from any real power. You think the strongest one wins. But your pushing against them is dis-empowering you, and their pushing against you is dis-empowering them. So if your opponent wins, it is actually because you pushed against hardest.

When you are pushing against someone –you are weakening yourself. “My adversary won because I did a better job of disallowing my well-being. I pushed harder against him.” I’m just wanting to get a little twist on this, so that you can give up all that pushing against, because it never helps.

There has been co-creating here that has taken this thought beyond that which it has been before. Once you have an opportunity to review this, you will realize that together, we will have achieved a sort of quantum leap in understanding.

Live in Joy!
Lilly

How To Read People Before They Ever Say A Word

Committed to my own personal growth, I continue ongoing academic studies, educational programs, apprenticeships, and volunteer programs to deepen and expand my personal, as well as professional knowledge, experience, and capabilities.

Every so often (and not very often at all!) I come across a personal growth program that I truly believe is worth recommending and sharing. Today, I want to introduce you to a uniquely beneficial program that I implement on a daily basis, and I am certain you will want in your learning library.

This is a remarkable “must have” program. Please indulge me a moment while I explain why.

Joe Navarro is a former counterintelligence officer for the FBI and a recognized expert on nonverbal behavior. He spent his professional career developing a system for “reading” people that is used today by this top government agency.

This is not a program about the meaning of crossed arms! It’s an in-depth, easy-to-learn system for reading people’s true intentions through their body language. The truth is, what Joe has to say in this program is riveting, informative, and tremendously applicable to every encounter you have with every individual you now know or will meet.

I’m sure you’ve considered learning a new foreign language at some point in your life. Why? So you would be able to communicate in ways you couldn’t before. Well, Joe reminds us there is a language that will tell us more about an individual than any words can.

In his new program, The Power of Body Language, (published by Nightingale-Conant) he explains how to “speed-read” people: decode sentiments and behaviors, avoid hidden pitfalls, and look for deceptive behaviors. What’s more, he unveils how YOUR body language can influence what your boss, family, friends, and even strangers think of you.

Filled with examples from Navarro’s professional experience, this definitive program offers a powerful new way to navigate your world. You’ll learn:

? The ancient survival instincts that drive body language

? Why the face is the least likely place to gauge a person’s true feelings

? What thumbs, feet, and eyelids reveal about moods and motives

? The most powerful behaviors that reveal our confidence and true sentiments

? Simple nonverbals that instantly establish trust or communicate authority

(just to name a few!)

If you think learning a new language is important, put it on hold until you master learning about body language. You’ll be armed with the “decoder secret” about people’s motives and attitudes that most people never realize exist — knowledge that will change your life in ways you can’t begin to imagine.

It will take only one listen to The Power of Body Language, for you to learn how to detect what people really mean. It will send your nonverbal intelligence soaring! I guarantee that this program is going to give you an amazing edge when negotiating or even just getting to know a person for the first time. I find it very helpful when being approached by people interested in new business deals … or by guys who want to date my daughter!

Live In Joy!

Lilly

Be Happy!

What is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?

I Beg You

To have patience with everything unresolved in your heart

And try to love the questions themselves

As if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language

Don’t search for the answers
which couldn’t be given to you now

Because you would not be able to live them

And the point is
To LIVE everything

Live the questions now

Perhaps then
Someday far in the future

You will gradually
Without even noticing it

Live your way into the
Answers…

Stephen King, Different Seasons

“The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them …words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than the living size then they’re brought out. but it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away.

And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That’s the worst, i think. When the secret stays locked within–not for want of a teller, but for want of an understanding ear. ”

~ Stephen King, Different Seasons ~

Star Journey Symbol System – Exciting Tool for Personal Insights

Use this exciting system to tap intuition, solve problems, and make decisions. You can gain insights about personal topics such as work, career, love, relationship, money, health, and more.

At the core of the system is a set of 96 simple and fun symbols, each describing a facet of the self. In addition, the system’s Circle Pattern diagram shows how symbols are organized and connected, including twelve prime archetypal qualities and seven levels of living.

Star Journey is a powerful tool for self-growth. It creates a profound personal mirror along with a guided process of interpretation to reach resolve. The system demonstrates that the answers to life’s questions are found within.

Star Journey is now in several formats:

Books and cards, Online symbols, Membership, other tools, and expert Phone Help are all available on the website:

http://www.star-journey.com

Online Symbol Set -  Now you can simply hop online and have access to the Star Journey symbol set, 96 in all. Use them now, or whenever needed, to get valuable insights about personal questions. The symbols are colorful, simple, and full of meaning. Use symbols in the Goal Journey format, to help you see where you are now, what the goal is, and what’s getting in the way. You’ll use both words and images to develop meaning. Complete instructions provided for use and interpretation.

Live Phone Consultations – Talk by phone with a Star Journey expert and be personally guided through the Goal Journey experience. Author Richard Geer and skilled expert Vanessa Taylor (RebelMum Slade) are available to assist with personalized service and consultation. Your satisfaction is guaranteed.

New release: Star Journey for iPhone & iPod Touch – Now Star Journey is portable and can always be at your fingertips. Whether sitting in a cafe or riding a train, you can be solving a problem, making a decision, or jumpstarting ideas about a challenge. Use on the spot for insights about love, work, career, money, health and more. (visit Apple’s App Store)

In addition, visit the beautiful, 3D and interactive version, Star Journey island in Second Life virtual world. Here, enjoy free tours and opportunities to meet the author and his talented in-world team:

Direct link into Second Life:
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Star%20Journey/133/124/440/?title=Welcome%20to%20Star%20Journey

The Law Of Exposure

The statement, “you become what you think about”, reminds us that our thoughts affect who we are, and it points out the connection between what we think and what we become.

This understanding is both enhanced and magnified once combined with the Law of Exposure.

The Law of Exposure tells us that our minds think about what it is most exposed too.

This performance law is fueled by the following understandings:

1. What enters your mind repeatedly, first occupies your mind, and then eventually shapes both your perception and reality.

2. Your mind will absorb and then ultimately reflect whatever it gets repeatedly exposed too.

3. The events you attend, the materials you read, the music you listen too, the images you watch, the conversations you hold, the friends you hangout with, the daydreams you entertain — all of these are right now shaping your mind, then your character, and eventually your future.

4. You expose people to your behavior everyday, and as a result you either make deposits or withdrawals into their psychological bank account.

I’d like you to consider the following the questions as it relates to the Law of Exposure;

. What am I currently exposing my mind to on a daily basis?

. What impact is that exposure having on my performance?

. What should I be exposing my mind to on a daily basis?

. What am I exposing other people to when they look at my behavior?

. What steps should I take to ensure that I am exposed to better, people, places, behaviors and results?

. What indecencies should I no longer be exposing my mind too?

INDECENT EXPOSURE

Indecent exposure is the deliberate exposure by a person of a portion of his or her own body that is likely to be seen as vulgar, offensive, and contrary to accepted standards of decency.

As it relates to your personal and professional performance, indecent exposure consists of anything that pollutes your mind, body or soul, such as the following:

. Excuses
. Junk food
. Self-Pity
. Violence
. Lack of Integrity
. Inconsistency
. Apathy
. Lying
. Sarcasm
. Gossip
. Procrastination
. Anger
. Jealousy
. Mediocrity
. Fear
. Worry
. Prejudice
. Vulgar language or behavior

Far too many people are over-exposed to these behavioral indecencies which negatively impacts their results.

It amazes me to see how many people think they can live as they want and that they can avoid this law. They think they can read anything they want and it won’t affect them. They think they can watch bad images or listen to nasty music and it won’t affect them.

The Right Kind of Exposure

You must never forget that your mind thinks about what it is exposed too. So consciously give serious exposure to whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-expose yourself accordingly.

Your task for today is twofold:

Expose yourself to new ideas, to stimulating conversation, to positivity, to all that is good and virtuous about humanity,

AND

Expose other people to your good character, sound judgment, and to your helpful nature. You must expose people to the example you want emulated in society.

Seven Steps From Visions To Reality

Fear is my best friend.
It shows me a path to nowhere;

I choose another way.
they say that a true hero is not one that harbors no fear but rather one that dares to overcome their fear.

fear is there behind you; don’t let it follow you.
if you do, you will spend your life running.

turn around and walk towards your fear; see it shocked with disbelief.
keep walking despite fear’s attempts to scare you; keep walking steadily.

walk through it – a miracle happened!
fear disappeared as if there was nothing there but thin air.
this is the substance fear is made of – thin air.

STEP ONE – BE A FOOL FOR VISION

I tend to say that only the naïve can achieve. The naïve is a fool, don’t be confused by the term and mistake fool for foolish. What is meant by fool is the innocent child quality that lives in an adult. This faculty is the most essential in acquiring vision, for as adults we tend to be cynical, skeptical, insecure, calculated and afraid of failure, while a child looks at the world awe inspired and imagines that everything is still possible. As adults we need to discern how to use different aspects of ourselves properly; when it’s time to garner vision, be the fool, awaken the child and reach for the stars.

STEP TWO – SEE IT HAPPEN and IT WILL

The conscious mind is where we spend most of our life; it seems that there is nothing else but it; it’s where we live and naturally it is that same conscious mind that we use when we try to create things in the world. Here’s a great secret; the conscious mind is very limited faculty of manifestation, it is not efficient at all for that purpose.

The subconscious mind on the other hand is the mind that can communicate your vision to the outside world and merge it there for its manifestation.

Use your conscious mind to plant the vision in your unconscious mind. To do that imagine your vision, see it happen and imagine how it feels – see it, feel it; do that with conviction and you will witness miracles.

STEP THREE – MAKE IT YOUR PURPOSE

Once you’ve summoned a vision and envisioned it happen, saw it and felt it, make it your purpose. You will need purpose when discomfort and pain appear on the scene and sacrifice is needed, for not much is achieved in life without sacrifice.

If you don’t make your vision one with your purpose, you will uphold another purpose, an underlying purpose you may not even be aware of. The most prevalent purpose is to avoid pain and gain pleasure – the mother of mediocrity and the archenemy of greatness. The only way to escape this purpose is to consciously choose another.

STEP FOUR – MAKE THE NOW YOUR HOME

Don’t dwell in the past, don’t allow it to be chains around your ankles, acknowledge it and move forward for this is the only movement there is. The present moment is the only asset you own, elusive as it is, it is home. What is now cannot be changed but it is where the work is done. Take your judgment away from the equation: hone the faculty of clarity; it is not good or bad it is what it is. If you think that circumstances are not in your favor, imagine instead that you’ve invited them yourself to create an appropriate challenge to optimize your growth. Do not harbor aversion to what is. Remember, the present moment is what it is and from here the future is shaped. (Repeat step two the more the better).

STEP FIVE – INITIATE IT

Your vision is in place, a sense of purpose kicks in, the present is acknowledged for what it is; you have used your imagination to plant the vision into the subconscious mind; now it is time to take action. It is amazing how many people expect things to just happen for them. You must initiate, do something to actually take the vision from the realm of your mind and anchor it in the reality of the world. Jot down your mission statement, write an action plan, arrange the priorities, take initial action, do something to set things in motion. This point seems simple and obvious but most visionaries stop here, they just dream and stick to their comfort zone. Remember; action is where manifestation begins: initiate – take action towards your vision, once you do that, you will know you are on track, it’s not a dream any more.

STEP SIX – RESISTANCE IS PART OF IT

Initiation generates resistance – it’s the law for nothing works without resistance, nothing at all. Understanding that resistance is a fundamental and essential part of the process is the most important point of all. Don’t confuse resistance with trouble; don’t let your judgment interfere. Expect resistance, the so called obstacles along the way, they will come don’t doubt that for they are needed and no process will occur without them. Resistance is an organic part of the process itself be ready for it.

Harness the adult to the process as the child tends to crumble when the seas turn rough. Don’t blame anyone or anything, don’t curse your luck; rather, claim responsibility and maintain your power at all times. Don’t say ‘it happened to me’, say instead ‘it happened for me’ and everything will change and make sense, the entire universe will conspire to help you, no force will be able to stop you if you learn the final move in this magical dance.

STEP SEVEN– FLOW WITH THE FORCE

Keep your pace. Maintain your vision, spur yourself, if your sense of purpose is intact any sacrifice along the way will only feel natural. You may need to explore the uncharted, to walk toward your fear. In the process you may discover your power; endurance, persistence, perseverance – this is the stuff winners are made of. Yet remember you are not in control; the force of life is greater than you. Walk with it, not against it, or it will crush you.

When you arrive at your destination, it may not be exactly the place you have envisioned, things have changed in the process; they always do. You are not the same person that took the first step, you’ve interacted with living forces and they’ve left their imprint, respect that and remember the only destination is the journey itself.

(A hint: While all steps are important step number two is the key.)

Blame – Who Did It To Me?

In the fall of 2008, while engaged in the kind of deep self-examination I love to hate, I discovered that when “bad” things happened to me, I reacted predictably. While my emotions might range from annoyance to downright martyrdom, my overall feeling was that life was against me. I was a victim.

Sometimes I was a victim fighting back, i.e., I was angry, resentful, argumentative, but when I found myself in these modes I felt even more victimized, because external events forced me to act in a way I didn’t like to behave.

Since I like to assume the identity of a someone who is in charge of her life, this victim discovery didn’t please me at all. Once I discovered it, though, evidence for for a pervasive victimhood began accumulating, and I decided that instead of resisting it I would explore it.

The Victim Identification Test

When something goes wrong in your life do you:

Blame others?
Feel as if the world (or someone) is against you?
Blame yourself?
Blame no one or take responsibility for what happened?

I am not suggesting you take responsibility for a hurricane which knocks down power lines, just that you not blame the weather, God, or mysterious forces which are out to get you. (I write more about responsibility further on in this article.)

However, if you forgot to pay an electric bill and your power gets shut off, do you blame anyone for not reminding you about the bill or blame the utility company for not allowing enough time to pay the bill? Do you say you can’t help it if you’re bad about paying bills, and those in charge should make allowances for the checkbook-challenged?

Regardless of your immediate answer to these questions, you may find it helpful to keep these questions in your mind as you go through your days. They can come up in these and other ways:

You’re at work, and your boss asks you to work overtime. You ask yourself, “Why me?” “Why me?” is very likely a victim’s question.

Your child brings home a report card which suggests he will be very fortunate to graduate from grade school, let alone any higher form of education. You ask yourself, “What did I do to deserve such a child?” This is a variant of “Why me?” You take bad weather, traffic jams, and long lines personally. You notice how often you say, “That’s not fair.” You decide you have been designated to experience a loveless life. You welcome a blow or disaster because now you don’t have to dread its occurrence.

The important thing is to notice how you respond to any situation which is a problem, crisis, or in any other way disturbs the flow of life as you expect it to flow.

How Victims Are Born

If you discover you have a tendency towards victimization the chances are very good that one or both of your parents were — not because there’s a gene for it, but because our earliest lessons about how to respond to life come from parents and other significant adults.

Our parents can teach us how to be victims in other ways.

Did either of your parents ever say to you, “I’m punishing you for your own good” or “I’m punishing you because I love you?”

Think of the hidden messages in these statements.

Love is punishment.
Love is painful.
Love is suffering.

Children who receive attention only in the form of punishment will seek it by “misbehaving.” This behavior can persist through adulthood: the person who constantly makes mistakes at work and is called in to his boss’s office on a regular basis, the person who forgets to perform expected household duties and is yelled at by a spouse or partner, the person who regularly gets into financial difficulties.

If we have this way of being, punishment can make us feel important. It may even make us feel like martyrs. If we come from strict Christian religious backgrounds, being martyrs can make us feel not only very important, but can reverse our thinking so that we see ourselves not as wrong, but as right and persecuted

The Victim-Guilt Seesaw

In the course of my exploration of my victim syndrome, I realized that I so readily adopted the victim identity because I didn’t want to blame myself, i.e., feel guilty. This is the opposite of victimization. I discovered how flexible I was in going back and forth between the two emotions.

In a victim state, we say, “Life isn’t perfect, and it’s someone else’s fault. I am innocent.” When we are in a guilty state, we say, “I am not perfect, and it’s my fault. I am guilty.”

Let’s look again at the examples I gave above. You forgot to pay an electric bill, and your electricity got shut off. In blaming anyone else for this, you may be resisting another way to react: blaming yourself for being stupid, careless, or whatever adjective you might be tempted to use.

In the case of the disastrous report card, the resisted thought might be, “I’m such a bad parent. Why didn’t I realize he had this problem?”

Power Failure

Whenever we feel either victimized or guilty, we rob ourselves of power. The loss of power became real for me when I sat down to think about certain things I wanted to create. I found myself unable to visualize any of these things without having thoughts such as, “Never happen.” In focusing on the negative thoughts, I eventually came up with, “Don’t deserve it,” and connected that thought to guilt.

I asked myself, “What would happen if these things I say I want came true?” The answer was clear: I couldn’t be a victim any more.

Victimization, like any way of being, becomes comfortable through its familiarity and firmly-set boundaries. A victim doesn’t have to take risks, doesn’t have to do unfamiliar things, doesn’t have to take responsibility for his/her life.

Think of a situation in which you feel victimized, or if you don’t like the “v” word, think of a situation you feel isn’t fair or think of something you haven’t been successful in manifesting. They may be the same. For example, you may want a promotion, but think your boss doesn’t appreciate all the hard work you do. You feel this is unfair.

Focus on a particular situation. Let yourself really feel the unfairness of it.

Now check into how you are feeling emotionally. What sensations are in your body? Are there areas which feel dense or heavy?

Now think of some project you want to create or fulfill. Do you feel empowered to work on it?

Do the same experiment with a situation about which you feel guilty.

A Third Way

The healthy alternative to both guilt and victimization is taking responsibility. Responsibility is NOT blaming yourself; it’s literally the ability to respond. A response is distinct from a reaction. Reactions are automatic and are stimulated by unconscious beliefs, usually acquired in childhood. Someone who unconsciously absorbed the belief that good parents have children who excel in school will automatically react negatively to a poor report card.

Guilt and feelings of victimization are reactions. We don’t deliberately choose to have these or other negative feelings.

When we respond, it’s a conscious act. We may feel the reaction, “My child has let me down” or “I have failed my child,” and let this reaction and the emotion it triggers to pass, then allow ourselves to be in the present and respond to the situation. We ask, “How can I help my child?” We have a conversation with him. We make it clear that we are available. We may speak to the teacher. We respond with the intention of solving the problem.

Being responsible also means acknowledging a mistake without guilt and learning from it. It means not blaming others for their mistakes.

I strongly believe that everything you do to help yourself to a state of unconditional self-love will release the Victim within. When we love ourselves, we don’t experience problems as punishment. When we love ourselves, we don’t experience punishment as love.

This is a two-way process. With every act of responsibility you restore power to your being. Empowerment is contagious. You set a powerful example for others. By not reacting with feelings of victimization or guilt you don’t trigger these reactions in others.

You also bring yourself closer to a state of unconditional love, and generously extend this state to others.

Each act of responsibility you take may feel small, but every time you choose responsibility, you help to make the world a happier, more loving place.

Responsible Crystals

The properties of sugilite indicate the connection between guilt and resentment (a common way in which people express their feelings of victimization). This crystal can help to dissolve both feelings. The general intention of sugilite is to assist us in releasing any feeling which is disempowering.

Azurite can give us a deeper understanding about what goes on beneath the surface of our conscious thinking. It also helps us to bring to the surface those beliefs which direct our reactions to people and situations.

Green Calcite is particularly useful in dissolving emotional and mental rigidities. Once these rigidities are released, we are able to think creatively and solve problems from a more open perspective.

Carnelian is the crystal which helps us to be focused in the present. When we are in a state in which our decisions aren’t based on the past, we are better able to make wise choices.

Flower and Other Essences

Willow (Bach) is the classic essence for resentment, which as I note in describing sugilite, is a common aspect of feeling victimized.

Wild Rose (Bach) addresses another common aspect of victimization: resignation. Everyone is against me, so there’s just no use in even trying any more. Wild Rose helps to get us back into the flow of life.

Pine (Bach) is the most useful essence for guilt and feelings that anything less than perfection in one’s being is personal failure.

Bear (Wild Earth Animal Essences), the animal who sleeps all winter, symbolizes the exploration of the unconscious mind.

Strength in Awakened Attention

Key Lesson: Whether it’s for joy or sorrow, whatever we wish for another person comes true for us in the same moment we make that wish!

Imagine for a moment a woman who inherits an antique jewelry box from a loving grandparent. She puts the cherished keepsake on her makeup bureau, next to her own collection of rings and pearls, but never really pays it much mind. And there it sits. But what she doesn’t know is that her grandmother hid a priceless diamond ring within it, in a secret compartment. It’s hers to have, if only she knew where to look for it. But will she?

In many ways this is a story not unlike our own: for “hidden” within each of us, and yet in plain sight, is a power unmatched in its brilliance. What is this potential diamond of the mind that awaits whoever will find it? It is our ability to attend to what we will. Coupled with awareness, attention empowers us to unite ourselves with whatever we wish to know and be. Let’s examine this largely unexplored gift of ours.

We are all graced with an immense interior gift: the power to give our attention to what we will – to what enriches and serves us.

Continuing states of stress and sorrow are the result of having mistakenly placed our attention upon what punishes us, stealing from us our happiness as a result. Any time our attention is given to some thought or feeling, it animates that condition; our attention invests what it falls on with a certain kind of life energy. Another unknown phenomenon about attention is that when it is given to something – for instance, a timeless night sky – it facilitates within us a union with the qualities of that “world.” And this dynamic is in operation all the time: to consider something is to be connected to it. So, our attention connects, animates, and nourishes whatever we lend it to in life. And more than this, but as a part of its power, we have all witnessed the following:

You’re stopped at a red light, and you look out your car window at someone passing by. You follow him with your eyes – interested in something about his appearance or manner. As you remotely study this person, the power of attention moves through and across time and space and it “touches” him in some way. The next thing you know he turns around and looks at you!

This power can be used for good or bad. When we use it for practical work, or for honest self-observation, we use it to our own benefit. However, when this power operates on its own, within us, without our awareness of what it’s interacting with, it can cause many problems. Here is where the unattended mind becomes the breeding ground of self-defeat.

For instance, any time our attention is placed, without our knowing it, on some way to escape ourselves, here’s what happens: more often than not we find out – too late – we got hooked up with some self-harming idea that ultimately led us to compromise ourselves.

This new kind of self-knowledge places us on the threshold of a wholly different, brighter life. If by being inattentive to our own interior life, we see how much of our unhappiness is self-created, then, we can learn to redirect our attention, placing it within what is right and bright. But, there is only one way to realize this reversal: we must work to see how wrongly directed attention works against us.

Perhaps a thought pops into your mind about a problem that’s been bothering you. Appearing with it is some emotional disturbance. Now the thought starts rolling, growing in its demand for your attention. Almost instantly it has defined what needs to be done, or what you are powerless to do. And both states accomplish the same dark end: You’ve unknowingly animated that thought and given it a life – and the life you’ve given it is your own! Here’s an example of how this scene might unfold:

A man is walking through his office when his boss walks by and gives him a blank look. The thought pops into the man’s mind that his boss is criticizing him or doesn’t like him. Now, as he starts to fear this idea – a negative picture produced by his imagination – his mind focuses its attention on this disturbing image. And the more he attends to this dark dream, the further into its labyrinth he descends, strengthening its presence and power to further irritate him.

A heartbeat later, he has no doubt: the boss has it in for him! This thought grows in authority for him, tormenting him for the rest of the day and causing him to snap at his family when he gets home. And all of this suffering is born of what? The conjunction of a passing glance and a moment of misdirected attention!

Here’s the amazing thing about this illustration, and what we want to learn from it: this whole drama has been played out inside of the man – storyline, stage, cast, and leading characters. But he doesn’t see how this painful state is self-created; instead he believes it has been cast upon him by someone else – his heartless boss! So, what else can he do – being in the dark as he is to his true condition – but try to rid himself of his stressed feelings? How? By arguing with his boss, either outwardly or in his mind. The more he feels punished by the situation that he sees in his mind, the more he wants to fight with it. He’s sure his unwanted experience exists independent of his perception of it, but we can see he’s mistaken.

His pain is a product of how he sees the event and then all of the misery that comes with resisting his own mistaken perception. He is quite literally lashing himself, and the more he resists what he thinks is happening, the more it happens to him! This is a good description of what I call the “circle of self.” In it we can see how the pain of our own mistaken perception produces the enemies it needs to keep itself alive.

From our vantage point, we can see how the man’s unattended mind first animated a fearful thought, which leads to wrongly feeding it with his own life. We can also see that nothing can change for him until he sees the truth behind his trouble and withdraws his consent from it.

We suffer because we consort with painful thoughts and feelings, thinking somehow that not wanting them makes them go away. But our unconscious actions betray us: first, by animating what makes us ache, and then by binding us to that relationship through our resistance to it. Here’s a simple way of saying these last few ideas: Not wanting our negative states actually nourishes them! I can almost hear the question that comes next: “Wait a minute! You can’t be saying these dark thoughts and feelings are good, and that we should want what’s hurting us, are you?”

Of course not! Negative states have no right to exist in us as they presently do. And that’s just the point. We literally give them a place to live in our psychic system – feed them, as it were – by trying to rid ourselves of them in the usual ways. But there are other ways of dealing with pervasive dark states besides resisting them, suppressing them, or trying to change the conditions seen as being responsible for them.

Instead of these acts of willfulness, we choose in favor of watchfulness. Rather than struggling with dark states, learning to be quietly watchful of them does two things at once: first, it separates us from being wrongly identified with our own thoughts about that troublesome state. Second – by the light of our newly liberated attention – we catch a glimpse of a powerful insight whose light helps set us free:

If we mistakenly give any negative state its “life” – then the opposite must hold true: we can consciously withdraw that same life any time we so choose!

Here is a simple exercise to help you get started with this new kind of seeing that is the power behind freeing you. Several times each day, whenever you can remember to do it, deliberately disconnect yourself from your own thinking. Choose awareness of your thoughts over being absorbed in the sensations they produce as they carry you along to get what they want. The aim here is simple: reclaim your attention in order to be where you are, and then just quietly notice all that you can about yourself. The light of this new order of awareness empowers you to catch and release what your own unattended thoughts had been busy cooking up for you, using you as stock!

Each time you remember to reclaim your attention in this manner, with it you regain your life. And here is a bright bit of encouragement to help you get started. The words that follow are those of Simone Weil, a brilliant French writer, activist, and lover of the Light: “Even if our efforts of attention seem for years to be producing no result, one day a light that is in exact proportion to them will flood the soul.”