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By David DeAngelo, Author Of “Double Your
Dating”
***QUESTION***
How do you tell if a girl has a boyfriend before even talking to her? i
mean is it something in their body language or are they looking around a
whole lot? i have walked up to girls that i was thinking didn't have a
boyfriend, but they did. how can you tell if she has one before making a
total ass of yourself?
W.
David D. >>>MY COMMENTS:
This is a very interesting question to me. It's interesting for two
reasons...
One, because it's a logical question to ask. Duh, it only makes sense to
want to know if she has a boyfriend, right?
Two, because I think that this simple little question prevents men from
talking to women probably MILLIONS of times per day.
Let's talk about these issues. The reality is that most guys aren't
looking for women who have boyfriends. We'd rather approach single women
than "taken" women. Further, most of us aren't interested in dealing
with potential drama... in other words, if she has a boyfriend, we'd
like to know so we can avoid drama with him.
Now, I personally believe that the combination of these two things
creates a sort of crazy thought pattern in many men. It goes like this:
"If I talk to a woman who has a boyfriend or a husband, I'm going to
embarrass myself and put myself in physical danger."
It all happens so fast. See woman > Think she's cute > Wonder if she has
a boyfriend or husband > Decide it's not worth it to find out > End of
story.
I've been there many, many times. You know what I've realized? Trying to
figure out if a woman has a boyfriend before you talk to her is a waste
of your time. I'm not very good at guessing whether or not a woman has a
boyfriend, and I've been studying this stuff closely for YEARS. If you
approach a woman who isn't single, she'll usually let you know pretty
quickly. But there's a bonus... you'll usually make her day!
Women love attention from men. It's reality. And out of all of the
hundreds and hundreds of women that I've approached, I've never been
harassed, threatened, or beaten up by a jealous boyfriend. I'm sure it's
happened at some point in history, but I've never heard of it happening
to anyone that I know... and I know a lot of guys that talk to a LOT of
women.
It sounds to me like you need to start paying attention to those little
mental games you're playing with yourself that are STOPPING you.
Get past them.
You don't make a total ass of yourself when you talk to a woman who
isn't single. In fact, just about everyone will respect you MORE for
having the guts to do it. Start thinking about something more useful!
***QUESTION***
I just want to say your advice is great. Where do u get this stuff from,
really?? I work in a gym and am a bodybuilder but until I got your
emails I had virtually no success with women. My sexy body oh yeah, was
enough to get them excited but my lack of confidence aka wussitis would
turn them of so quick it was like I had turned into a frog or something.
Attitude makes the difference.
Now I'm busting on every hot girl I see, telling them they're probably
stalkers and they are all over me. There are global changes that people
can make where one thing changes and a lot of other good things come
from it, this was one for me. I've asked a lot of hot women and they say
your material is dead on. They also say a lot of the cocky part of the
equation comes from posture, how you handle yourself, eye contact, how
comfortable you are in your own skin.
My question is sometimes when I bust on a women she'll get pissed and
say something like "F U" Is this hers testing me and if so should i
respond in a cocky and funny way?, or am I putting too much cocky and
too little funny?
>>>MY COMMENTS:
lol... yea, you might want to turn up the humor a little bit. Just a
guess...
I know several guys who say that if a woman gets "pissed" at you early
on, or you get into an argument, that it INCREASES your chances of
getting together with her FAST. Interestingly enough, I've actually seen
that happen to ME a couple of times as well...
But if you're getting those kinds of responses from women on a regular
basis, I'd say you might want to turn up the humor. It's obvious that
the women you're talking to don't KNOW that you're kidding around with
them.
To answer your question about where I get this stuff from...
I used to have no clue about women. I would see a woman walking down the
street or in a bar and have NO IDEA what to do or say to start a
conversation with her... and at one point I just decided that I'd had
enough. So I decided to learn about how this whole "Women and Dating"
thing worked.
Well, at first I stumbled around like a jackass, trying all kinds of
things that didn't work... reading every book I could get my hands on,
going to seminars, listening to tapes... etc.
But the thing that really did it for me was getting to know guys who
were "naturally" good with women, and then paying very close attention
to what they actually DID with women... not what they SAID they did, but
what they ACTUALLY did. They I went and TESTED what I was learning, and
I came up with my concepts and techniques. In other words, I really
learned this stuff the hard way. I'm glad it's helping you...
***COMMENT***
The story by J is so obviously a total fabrication. I see better stories
that are just as fake on afternoon soaps. Lets get real here. No one who
believes the story by J must not have any living brain cells. Maybe that
is how some women in bars act but in real life that hardly ever happens.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, I hate to break the news to you, but NONE of the things that I
print in these newsletters are "fabrications". Every one of these
letters is REAL. All of them. I don't even edit them very much... I just
do things like changing names to initials to maintain the privacy of
contributors.
These letters are the real deal... and if you think that story was hard
to believe, then you need to hang out with some of my friends when they
go out. I've seen things with my own two eyes that make every story I've
ever printed seem mild. Come to my next seminar... and meet some of my
guests... and listen to them tell their stories first-hand. The real
world is stranger than fiction, man.
***QUESTION***
Hi David,
I'm attracted to an escort girl in my city. I haven't seen or spoken
with her yet and she doesn't known me either. I have her phone number.
What's the best strategy to make this girl attracted to me ? (make a
date without sex maybe...?)
Best Regards,
T
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, OK, let me get this straight. You could have asked me anything you
wanted, and you want me to tell you how to make an escort girl that
you've never met feel attracted to you? Hm. I'd have to say MONEY.
Money will probably do the trick for you. And you know, your idea is
pretty slick, too. Combine the two. Give her money, but don't expect
sex. She'll probably go out with you as often as you want...
I know, I'm a genius. And you're welcome.
***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***
Hello David:
I am a female 37 y/o Puerto Rican. I ran across your e-book by accident
and let me tell you, it has upset me so much that I subscribed to
receive your crappy e-mails.
You know David, I am one of the few good ones left. I have a great body,
a nice face, a great upscale reputation, I am an excellent Latin dancer
in fact professional, I teach dancing, choreography and host some nights
at local nightclubs, I am an excellent cook, house keeper and I always
do my best to look good-hot and sexy. I am very sexual or should I say
extremely sexual. I communicate very well with others and have a great
sense of humor. Well...yes, so far everything is about me, why? Because
of this crap that you write, the man that I love and loves me back has
left every window in his life open, you know, for the opportunity to
meet more women. We have been together for 9 months and have been living
together for the past 5 months or so and he still is searching for crap
that he has no business searching for. He's got everything any man can
dream of with me. Trust me he's got dozens of men waiting for him to
step away so they can step in...
So maybe some day you want to advice these men that if they find a good
one with superb qualities that they should take some time to know them
better.
Regards,
M A.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, I'm not going to comment on your judgment about the guy you're
with. But I'd like you to notice one little detail that maybe you've
missed. YOU LIVE WITH THIS GUY. You MOVED IN with him. And you're STILL
WITH HIM.
I hate to say this, but it's obvious that his behavior towards other
women is only making you TRY HARDER to get his approval. I'm treading on
some controversial ground here, but think about it... I think you're
missing the key insight here.
I was at the mall today buying something at a bath and body store. As
usual, I was teasing and flirting with the girl that was helping me. In
walks my ex girlfriend (about 6'2" with her heals on, the most beautiful
woman you've ever seen)... and walks over to say hi to me. After she
leaves, the girl that was helping me would NOT LEAVE ME ALONE. It was
almost freaky.
She kept hinting that I should come back to the store more often,
started asking me all kinds of personal questions, and just would not
stop... At the end, as she was putting my purchases in a bag and handing
them to me she was literally SHAKING with nervousness.
A man who can obviously attract other women is FAR more attractive than
a man who obviously CAN'T attract other women. Again, I'm not going to
comment on your boyfriend's particular behavior, but I think you are
missing a BIG piece of the puzzle.
***QUESTION***
Dave,
I would like your help man, you're only my hope. this is my story. a
year ago I met an incredible woman real beautiful I may say that she's
9.9 type. I met her at college and I started to talk to her we were
friends for a couple months. she had a boyfriend that time after like
five months she found out that her man is cheating on her, then they
broke up. I was there for her in that sad situation of hers, then after
a while I tried to be her boyfriend, she says no because she decided to
be without a man for like a year something. I really beg and beg... I
did everything for her, I volunteered to do so many things to her and I
took her out to nice and very expensive places. in that time I use to
call her once or twice a day. then sometime to time I continue to ask
her to be her boyfriend. then she started to tell me that she doesn't
love me anymore. she like me as big brother or something.........after a
while we were talking, then the conversation heat up, then we talked
about how we missed sex. she got real hot me too, but because we were at
college library we had an appointment to meet the following day and have
sex. I made a reservation in a nice resort, I got a suite. the day we
supposed to meet she called me and told me that she changed her mind
because, she was thinking and we're friends, so she can't take the
clothes in front of me I begged she refused, I was real upset. I hang up
the phone on her. after like two weeks not talking to each other I
e-mailed her begging and telling her that I was upset because she wanted
to have sex so much, maybe she want to see other man to have sex with,
which is probably true. she forgive me but we haven't talk about sex
since that time. then I discovered your e-book purchase it and read it
all. now I don't call her every day, I call like twice a month. but it
going no where.
Since she's so beautiful and men hit on her everyday, everywhere, work,
school even on the street... I think I'm gonna lose her. I invested too
much time, money everything on her and I real love her I don't want to
lose her what can I do to get her back. please help me you're only hope
I have, I tried everything, it doesn't work. I want to have her as my
girlfriend or maybe I can hit that a$$, you know what I mean. but I'm a
very slow learner and I have a big difficult to women, so be very very
specific and give more example of what I can do in details way. Of
course if you have the time to do all this.
thank you
H
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Duuuuuuuuuude...
You definitely get the Wuss Of The Week award. Just listen to yourself,
man! After telling what may be the most touching story of an adult male
human handing his testicles to a woman, you end with "I want to have her
as my girlfriend or maybe I can hit that a$$...".
Powerful stuff.
I wish I had the time to tell you all the things I think about your
situation, but that would probably take me about a YEAR to write out, so
I'll just hit the high points here.
First of all, walk away from this one. You have hammered every nail into
this particular coffin... and it's not worth it anymore.
You acted like a SUPREME WUSSY with this girl.
You screwed it up OVER AND OVER AND OVER.
Just buck up, and take it like a man.
Next, NEVER beg a woman for ANYTHING again. This is the kind of thing
that makes women RUN away as fast as they can. I can't even believe that
this girl was into you at all in the first place.
And your logic of "I have too much invested to let this one go" is Bass
Ackwards, dude. What the hell are you talking about!? lol... you have
too much invested to let it go?
Something tells me that you're not such a good investor, either. Look,
there's an old proverb that says "No matter how far down the wrong road
you've gone, TURN BACK". Turn back, man. Turn back. Get on with your
life, learn from your experience, and get over it. And for the sake of
all men, stop BEGGING!
***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***
OK, big guy...how about the flip side (so to speak)...how about coming
to our rescrew, I mean rescue and putting out a column on What Men Want
In A Women? I am having a gas reading your column every day, in fact in
kind of gets me hot just thinking about it, go figure.
I was married, emphasis on WAS married to a wimp ass who couldn't make a
decision to save his life. I finally just had to ask him, no TELL HIM to
leave. Best decision I ever made. Trust me, as much as you may read that
a woman wants someone to help with the housework (boring) be your friend
(I've got girlfriends) etc, etc....I had it and I was b.f.n. within a
very short period of time.
Marty Stewart (get it, Martha Stewart, Marty Stewart) is about as
attractive to a woman as a, well never mind. I think there may have been
some other ISSUES going on, but we wont go there... and question one's
well, you get my drift. So now I am having a total gas meeting REAL men.
Can hardly sleep at night, or focus on my work during the day! Keep UP
the good work!
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, other than the fact that you use the word "gas" a little more often
than I'd like, I really enjoyed your letter. Men that follow instead of
lead, don't make any decisions, and kiss up to women are NOT attractive.
That's the reality. Thanks for the reminder.
***COMMENT***
I just wanted to say that you do a hell of a job. Sure you probably make
decent money, and your newsletters is a good way for cheap advertising,
but you don't get paid for your answers to peoples questions. I really
appreciate someone that give great "customer service". I can only
imagine the time and effort you put in every newsletter. It is a great
supplement to you work. I bought the book and soon want to get the cd.
thanks for your hard work.
M.
Illinois
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well thank you very much for the good words. You're right... I don't get
paid to write these newsletters. They're all free. And I spend more time
writing these newsletters than I spend doing anything else (other than
sleeping, that is). You're welcome, and thanks for reading and
supporting my efforts by investing in my ebook.
***QUESTION***
From what I've read in your newsletter, it appears that it is best to
"hide" personal "quirks" from dates for as long as possible. By
"quirks," I mean unusual hobbies, interests, beliefs, etc. Such things
are irrelevant to women during the "attraction phase;" they would only
distract from the "C&F," confident, independent, non-needy,
"ball-busting" approach. My question is this: in your experience, and
that of your readers/students/teachers, once a woman is attracted, can
that attraction be endangered as she (inevitably) discovers the
"quirks?" For example, I have "nerdish" interests such as the space
program, amateur rocketry, and science fiction. I also have radical
political views, and ride a motorcycle as daily transportation
(unfortunately, it's not a Harley or sport bike; and I wear Cordura, not
leather). Should I continue to hide these "quirks," evade questions
about what I do in my spare time, and trade my bike, in order to
continue to attract women?
-S.Y.,
San Antonio, TX
>>>MY COMMENTS:
This is a very interesting question. First of all, I don't necessarily
think that it's important to "hide" anything about yourself. But the
fact is that ATTRACTION isn't based on LOGIC... it's all about EMOTION
and PHYSICAL responses. Most guys don't get this point, so they just
stumble around trying to keep a conversation going with boring topics
like work, school, and hobbies.
The point of being evasive in conversations with women, teasing them,
and busting on them IS NOT to "hide" anything from them. The point is to
ENJOY what you're doing, and to trigger ATTRACTION inside of HER. I'm
kind of a weird guy myself... I like geeky things like building
computers (I built my last two computers because it sounded
challenging), fossils (I have a few of them in my house), and chess.
And could care less if a woman finds out about this stuff. It doesn't
matter. Do the RIGHT things, and don't worry about trying to "hide"
things from women.
***QUESTION***
Dave you are the man,
I'm in a wheelchair from being shot. good thing for me everything still
works. anyway, I am VERY successful with women, pulling just about any
woman of my desire. I have a question though. is there a such thing as
busting on a woman too hard or too much?
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I think that there is such a thing. The problem is that most guys never
even get CLOSE to doing it. Attracting women is a SKILL. The techniques
that I teach are part of a bigger puzzle. Some women are so shy and
nervous that they can't handle very much teasing... but they're rare.
Some women are too uptight to even "get it". That's good, because those
kinds of women are HORRIBLE to be around...
But most women "get it" and enjoy it. They know what's going on.
As long as your teasing is FUNNY (big key), then you can really turn it
up. If it's not FUNNY, then it's not going to work for you. Remember,
Cocky PLUS Funny. If she's not laughing some or most of the time, then
you don't get it! Thanks for your email... I'm sure that your story is
inspiring to a lot of guys who think that they have big limitations to
overcome.
***SUCCESS STORY***
David,
I have been reading your newsletter for a few months now, and I wanted
to say thanks. I haven't had much time to meet women, but thanks to your
tips (and getting fed up with Teddie Bear Syndrome) I've had great
success. I'm a larger guy, and for a long time that made me think that I
was all but out of the dating scene. But, going for the cocky funny
attitude (that's me normally anyway, but wussing out with women) women
are eating out of my hand. Like I said, I'm a larger guy; But I've made
comments like 'Did you touch my ass?' Only to have it promptly slapped
with a 'no, but now I did' and grins. Working women is like playing a
fiddle now! Thanks!
PS
Olathe KS
>>>MY COMMENTS:
"Working women is like playing the fiddle..."? lol... what the hell does
that mean? I guess if you have women slapping your ass, it must mean
that it's enjoyable. I know, it's hard to believe that even if you're
not PERFECT, you can still attract women.
Miracle of miracles. Good thing, too... because life would kind of suck
if it weren't true!
***SUCCESS STORY***
Dave,
A couple of months ago you published an email I wrote explaining how
your advanced series motivated me to get off my ass and get moving on a
business idea I had which is now turning out to be very successful.
What's amazing is how women are responding to me now compared to before
despite the fact that they have no clue about my business since I've
always refused to answer "what do you do for a living". I think the key
has to do with the fact that I'm so absorbed in my new business that
I've become completely indifferent to women, whereas before I would put
myself under tremendous pressure to talk to and get a number from every
hot woman I saw. I'm not really all that busy (I've outsourced all the
work so it takes very little of my time) but that's just where my mind
is, to the extent that I'm not only indifferent, but at this point I
almost can't be bothered with dating since it's no longer #1 on my list
of priorities. Women instantly pick up on this and I'm getting more
looks and smiles and women saying 'hi' to me first than ever before.
I already understood the power of indifference, especially after hearing
what Brent had to say about it on your DVD. I've now taken it to the
point where I may make eye contact once, whether it's accidental or
intentional, then absolutely make sure I don't look her way again. It's
amazing how many will come over and say hi when you do this. I've taken
it to the extreme where if I'm out with some guys and they're staring at
a hot woman and won't stop looking no matter how much I insist, I'll
slide down the bar a few seats so she doesn't think I'm with those bunch
of dumbasses. Even more amazing is what happens after I do start going
out with a woman. I never call anymore. If we end a date or a
conversation and she says "call me soon," I say, "no, you call me when
you want to get together again." About half will call a week later when
they realize I'm not going to. The other half I never hear from again
but the beauty is now I DON'T CARE. I added the following line to my
online ad: "I only date women who approach me first since those who
don't are lacking the confidence I require in a woman." You guessed it -
I'm getting double the number of emails. I also don't bother writing
back right away and have found that they'll email multiple times and
even send their numbers in an effort to get a response (a fitness model
actually did this), whereas before I'd respond immediately and never
hear from them again. I'm also not meeting the needy, insecure women I
seemed to always wind up with when I did all the approaching, the "I
could never talk to a guy first" type.
I've said it before but I'll say it again - thanks for your powerful
material. I love the monthly CD series, especially the one with Marie
which I think is worth hundreds of dollars on its own. Guys, be
indifferent! It works better than everything else combined!!
FR
Phoenix
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Ah yes, you're starting to REALLY get it! Very nice. It's good to hear
that you're actually USING the things you're learning. I always love to
see it when people take ACTION, instead of sitting on the sidelines
saying "That won't work".
Awesome.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Hi, Dave.
I had just caught up on a couple of your recent newsletters about women
testing us guys and some of the success stories. Last night I was so
glad I had read them!
I met a woman I've been emailing for a few weeks. I had kept the emails
cocky and funny, revealing just enough of myself to pique her interest
but evading many direct questions. Rather than asking her if she would
like to meet face-to-face, I TOLD her it was time to meet. She quickly
agreed and we set a date and location.
It was there that I put into action what I've been reading, though I
probably got more in depth than you'd recommend on a first date. But I
worked in humor and teasing quite a bit. After dinner and cocktails, we
wandered through town to a favorite bar of mine, and on they way I'd
nudge up against her while we were walking or brush her hand with mine,
but then edge away. When we got to the bar, "incidental" contact became
more frequent, and soon she was grabbing my knee and thigh and rubbing.
I'd turn away and break contact and then go back to it after a few
minutes. She was going nuts! I'd lean in a few times and then instead of
kissing her I would ask a question or make a comment, since the bar was
on the loud side. Finally she couldn't handle it and asked me if I
wanted to kiss her. I pretended to mull the idea over and said, "Yeah, I
guess sometime I'll kiss you." She looked shocked, and then grabbed my
head and forced a deep kiss on me. We played tongue hockey for a while
and I would frequently break away to sip a drink or watch some of the
game on the big-screen TV.
We left and we walked back to her place, which was a few blocks away.
She insisted I go to her place. As we walked, she kept asking those test
questions that women always ask. She said something about herself, and
after I responded with silence, she said, "Hey, I was fishing here." I
told her I don't like to fish. She said that she was fishing and I was
the fish, and I reminded her what happens to fish when they're caught.
After I evaded yet another question, she blurted, "I'm so testing you!"
I just grinned and told her I'm out of school and don't have to take
tests anymore. She called me a jackass and then gave me another deep
kiss and groped me.
The rest of the evening after we got to her place went great, with more
of the teasing and flirting, which led to some very passionate sex. When
I left, she said she had a great time and that she'd never met anyone
like me before. Rather than saying I had a great time too, I told her,
"I've had worse dates."
This was my first date after separating from my long-time wife. I was
very nervous going into it, but acted cool as a cucumber. I never would
have had the guts to play things so nonchalant and aloof it it weren't
for your newsletters and advice. This woman was very aggressive and in
the past I've been very passive, but I managed to keep the upper hand
throughout the night. And it was all natural too--I didn't feel like I
was being manipulative or slick, as I was afraid of when I started
reading your newsletters. Your comments about the tests are dead on, and
I'm glad I passed by not even taking them. And I used some of the lines
from the success stories too, when appropriate. When she said she liked
me, I responded, "Yeah, I like me too." That was such a hit! The guy
that wrote that should be made a saint!
Guys, pay attention to the newsletters. Listen to what Dave's saying.
Use what other guys are writing. It really does work!
D.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
lol... "I've had worse dates..."! That's classic. Nothing can really be
said, except "You are THE man". Nice! This is a great story...
And if you're reading this right now and thinking to yourself "Self,
it's time to learn about how to be more successful with women and
dating", then YOU'RE RIGHT. I think you should treat your SELF to it...
One of the most important insights I've gotten from learning the secrets
of how to attract women is interesting.
I've realized that if a man doesn't know how to attract women, it spills
over into all other areas of his life. It's a very special kind of
insecurity that causes a lot of problems in other areas as well.
Let's face it.
Just about everything that men do to achieve material success in life is
somehow connected to ATTRACTING WOMEN. But guess what?
Material success won't make the INSECURITY and the FEAR go away! The
only thing that WILL make it go away is actually LEARNING how to attract
women. I know, because I've been there. I can CLEARLY remember how
different I felt inside when I had
no idea how to meet women... and I know how different it feels now that
I do.
My relationships work better, because I'm not acting AFRAID... afraid
that she's going to leave, afraid I won't be able to find someone
else... etc. And when I'm single, I'm happy. I don't constantly worry
anymore, not knowing if I'll ever meet another woman.
I personally think that taking the time to learn how to make women feel
ATTRACTION is one of the best investments you will ever make in yourself
and your life, period.
It might be THE best investment.
Did this article shine some light on your present dating success and
how you can improve? Sure it did.
I know it did, because I've been there. As a result
of my sharing what I know to guys like you, (I receive emails from guys
every day that have dating advice questions) I can honestly say that you
need to take two more steps to start your own successful dating
lifestyle.
First:
click here and join my free weekly newsletter. That's where I answer
the most interesting and original of the advice questions I get daily
from guys that want to date more and better.
Second:
Download my ebook "Double Your Dating". I sell it for only $19.97
and you'll find inside the ebook more of the successful techniques,
tried and true, that help any guy get the dates he wants. And it comes
with THREE great bonus booklets that aren't available anywhere else.
Get serious now. End disappointment. Start here:
www.DoubleYourDating.com
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
P.S. Do some friends a favor, and FORWARD this
article to their email addresses. It might be the biggest gift you ever
give them.
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How To Tell If She's Interested
How To Tell If She's Single
The Ten Most Dangerous Mistakes YOU Probably Make With Women— And What To Do
About It
A Secret Women Know That Men Don't
What Women HATE Most About Single Guys
Why VERY INTELLIGENT Men Fail With Women
How To Get A Woman's Phone Number And Email Address Within Three Minutes Of
Meeting Her
Nine Quick Fixes That Will Immediately Boost
Your Success With Women
Obliterate Your Fear of Meeting Women
Hit Her Blueprint to Spark Attraction
Instantly
Attracting Women - Master State Control to
Attract Women Immediately
How To Move Things Forward and Get Her Alone
How to Find the Perfect Girl
to find out!
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