By David DeAngelo, Author Of “Double Your
Dating”
***SUCCESS STORY***
Hi Dave,
I've been reading your newsletter for a long time now, have bought the
e-book, the CD series and DVD series, and the stuff just keeps getting
better and better. I've turned several of the guys here in the office
onto your material and they all profess to be "totally changed" or "a
new man" or otherwise similarly positively transformed.
Anyway, after reading some of the stories in your latest newsletter, I
thought about one technique that I've been using lately, to great
effect.
It started about 5 months ago when I was at the dentist. Basically, I
have this gap between my front teeth that I had never given much thought
to. Well, the hygienist girl, who is totally cute, asked me if I ever
considered "getting it fixed". I said "no. It's part of my charm. It
makes me more attractive. I know you agree." She totally blushed, and
was super nice to me the rest of the time. Well, I left, didn't want her
digits, so I didn't ask. But I thought I'd try something like this out
later to see if it would work.
Jump forward a couple of days to a local art fair... by the way, these
are good places to meet attractive, intelligent 30-something women...
they are also awesome places to bring dates (and mostly cap on the
artwork). The plan worked like this... I picked out the most attractive,
single-looking woman in the room, went up to her and capped on the
sculpture she was looking at, then quickly turned the conversation
around to her, eventually saying "I love your hair, but I don't usually
date smokers". She said "what do you mean? I don't smoke." I answered,
in a cocky and funny way, by saying that I was sure she did, from the
way her teeth looked. Oh yeah, this went against the "conventional
wisdom" that says it's okay to insult a woman's accessories, but not her
natural attributes... anyway, she got embarrassed, and tried to cap on
me about my teeth, something like "who are you to talk, your teeth
aren't perfect." Which was the perfect set up for "Yeah, but that's part
of my charm, it makes me more attractive. I know you agree." She rolled
her eyes said "Oh brother" or similar... but, two minutes later, I was
walking away with her e-mail. I've used variations on this theme about a
dozen times over the past few months. I think it's absolutely
ridiculous, but it works great. I told one buddy, who has great teeth
but a substantial gut about it, and he used it successfully... capping
on the girl's tummy. I laugh when I think about this technique, but hey,
it seems to work brilliantly.
Cheers,
P in Raleigh
>>>MY COMMENTS:
This is FANTASTIC stuff.
I have a friend who is approaching 50 in age, and who's not exactly
"dashingly handsome". He's not ugly, etc. but it's obvious that he's not
a male super-model either. One of the things he loves to do is tell
women that they're probably not used to getting attention from unusually
good-looking guys like himself... and they eat it up.
Imagine this:
An average guy who's almost 50 years old walking up to a beautiful woman
in her 20s, and then telling HER that she's probably not used to getting
this kind of attention from attractive guys like himself. It's
fantastic.
In marketing, there's a concept called "Brag about your weakness". When
you openly talk and joke about something like this, and even talk about
it as if it were a huge strength, people love it. Remember the old Avis
slogan "Avis is only #2, so we try harder"?
Your email was great... this is good stuff.
***COMMENT***
David,
Well, this is not the average success story, but rather this is
neurological proof your ideas are correct. You say attraction isn't a
choice. You're absolutely right. The brain has two primary structures
that dictate everything that goes on mentally. There is the rational
center, or in medical terms, the neocortex, and there is the emotional
center, the amygdala. The emotional brain does the things that are
crucial for survival. For instance, you see a figure in the woods that
could be a snake and you jump. Your emotional brain made the move. You
see that the object is actually a stick, you invoke your rational brain,
and you mentally and physiologically calm down.
The lesson is that people don't have rational control over their
emotions, and reason can be short circuited out of the process when the
emotional brain is in control. Furthermore, emotions happen in response
to stimuli. ATTRACTION IS NOT A RATIONAL CHOICE! IT IS AN INVOLUNTARY
RESPONSE!
Another important concept is that emotions lead us to do the things that
ensure the survival of our offspring, such as choosing the best mates we
can. This means that the wuss's genes are not good for survival as the
wuss gets taken advantage of in society. Lesson- WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED
TO WUSSIES. WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO MEN! Wussies simply cannot cause an
emotional hijacking in women NO MATTER HOW HARD THEY TRY! Real men can
do it WITHOUT TRYING! Women CAN'T CONTROL THE RESPONSE!
David, you're a master neuroscientist and probably didn't even know it!
MPM
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well lookey there... I'm smart and stuff. Actually, I've read quite a
few books about this topic myself, and I think you're right on here.
Attraction ISN'T a choice... but men behave as if it is. Unfortunately,
the more you behave as if you can make a woman feel attracted to you by
convincing her, the worse it gets...
Ouch.
Thanks for the validation! And thanks for all the exclamation marks! I
know you mean it!
***QUESTION***
Hey Dave,
I'd first like to say that it sounds like your whole game is on point
and some day I'd like mine to be like that. But anyway's, I try to
follow your tips as much as I can and it has worked but I'm really
interested in this one girl that I met. I call her every other day or
something and every time I call her it seems like she is thrilled to
hear from me and we talked for a while, I go see her at work and she
seems happy to see me. Here's the problem for me, she rarely ever calls
me, we've talked for three months and we haven't went out on a date.
She's never said stop calling me or we never will go on a date, she just
leaves the idea open. I don't know if she leading me on, playing hard to
get or what, but i keep trying because the anticipation to go on a date
is a turn-on. i just need your expert advice...
J-Las Vegas
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yea, I've got your expert advice right here...
MOVE ON.
If you'd like to MARRY this particular girl, then keep doing what you're
doing... and you probably have a 1 in 50 chance of getting her to marry
you. But if not, then move on, because you're doing all the WRONG
things, man. As a RULE, women play hard to get. You can just assume that
she's doing it without even asking.
But the worse part of this situation is that you don't understand what's
going on. It's clear to me that you do not understand how ATTRACTION
works, and you haven't the slightest idea how to create it. Save
yourself another three months. Get a copy of my eBook. And stay tuned in
to these newsletters. If you don't, you're going to wind up VERY
frustrated in the end.
You must change the way you THINK about this situation. No "magic
technique" will help you.
Step 1: Stop calling her.
Step 2: Start dating other women.
Step 3: Make sure she knows that you're dating other women.
Step 4: Continue to move on with your life.
Ironically, this sequence will create your very best chances of
eventually getting a date with this particular woman. It's still a SLIM
chance, but if you're serious, then this is the way to do it.
***QUESTION***
Dave,
Let me start by telling you, you da man! I really got to hand it to you,
your stuff has given me confidence Ive never had before, and Im just
trying to absorb as much of it into my head as possible. I really want
to thank you for being able to share this stuff with guys like me and
not keeping it to yourself.
There's just one thing wrong with your material: its way TOO CHEAP!!!
Seriously Dave, I think WE'RE ripping YOU off! Thanks to you, I started
to apply the Cocky and Funny in chatting rooms and in the real world,
and it is a hell of a lot better than the Mr. Nice guy act. However, I
use emails and chat to practice my Cocky and Funny and it is improving.
For example, I have one trick I use and it works on a girl whether she's
younger, older, or the same age as me.
I asked one girl her age, and she turned out to be as old as me, 21. I
then replied by telling her "ahh forget it, your too young for me" I
assume that this girl wasnt used to a rejection like this and she was
intent on knowing how old I was. I told her that I was also 21, and she
reacted like most girls do at this part, by laughing and turning into a
stuck up and asking me how she could possibly be too young for me. I
then respond saying something like "I guess your right, its not your
age, you just wouldn't be able to handle me," then she reacts like most
girls do at this point, continuing to be even more stuck up and laugh
sarcastically, while I tell her that Ill give her a chance because she
wants it so much, and she has 2 minutes to convince me she can handle
me. Now this is a great conversation starter, and while she argues the
fact that she can handle me, I occasionally send her teasing comments
like, "honey, your wasting my time" or "Why are u not entertaining me"
or "ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz". I kind of understood how being Cocky works, and
if the girl really meant the insults she said to me at first, she still
wouldn't be talking to me, right? After doing this to one particular
girl, who turned out to be hot as hell from a pic she sent me, she
completely forgot about being stuck up and told me "ok, Im sorry, lets
start over" this is when I realized I had her in my grasp and I
continued being Cocky but turned it down a notch, was this the right
thing to do? Around the end I asked her for her email and she replied by
telling me she cancelled it yesterday, a terrible excuse. I persisted
and said "yeah sure, just type it down,it'll be ok." she stuck to her
story and I gave up and gave her my email which she "supposedly" wrote
down. Now I know I probably shouldn't of backed down on her email, but I
thought the conversation was going so great she would actually want me
to have her email. Is there something I did wrong for her to refuse
giving it to me, and what other ways could I make a girl give me her
phone # and/or email? Also, you stress how you should never answer a
girls question directly, to leave her unsure. This happens to be my
weakness and I would appreciate a few tips on this too.
Thanks for everything Dave, your reply would really mean a lot.
W.C.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Great story... and great job. One thing you have to remember about chat
rooms and online IM sessions is that they're great PRACTICE. Now, I've
met some UNBELIEVABLE women on the internet... so don't get me wrong
here.
But don't worry too much about any particular girl... or any particular
situation. She could have had a boyfriend, or even a husband... and was
just online because she was bored... or any of 100 other scenarios. When
something like this happens, just move on.
The point is that you're using the internet for a GREAT "practice
environment", and you're training your mind to be Cocky & Funny in the
moment... which begins to translate into the REAL world as you do it. To
answer your question about how to get a girl to give you her email
address and/or number, just do more of what you're already doing...
Keep throwing down the challenges...
Write back and say "Yea, you're probably not that adventurous".
She'll say "Yes I am!".
Then say "Well, if you were then you would have asked me for my number
and called me already. But you're not. So you didn't...". Keep this up
until she asks for YOUR number. Then, as soon as you hit the "send"
button, IM her again quickly to say "I don't hear my
phone ringing! Hurry up!". You'll love the results you get from this
kind of thing. But be careful. And get LOTS of CURRENT pictures. Take it
from someone who knows... lol... don't just take her word for it.
***SUCCESS STORY FROM A WOMAN***
David,
I read your newsletters and I am a girl. I am skeptical to buy your
ebook, only because I am not yet ready to admit to myself that I am in
such dire need of dating help even though I am an attractive woman. Last
week, I had a little get together at my house with a few friends (of the
opposite sex). It was no problem getting them there since I already knew
them and I'm sure they came for the free drinks. It was when they got
there that at first I wasn't quite sure what we were going to do. So we
were just sitting in my loft and talking and drinking some beer when one
of them asked me for a massage. So, I said if you give me a massage
first. This worked and I got my massage. While I was being massaged, I
said HARDER!! Put some effort into it! Come on your are teasing me! The
other one was just sitting there watching this all go down. So after he
was done, I switched and gave the massage. I used my elbow and really
really got into it...and I said "this is the way its done" and after
that, when it was his turn, it was great. They were sooo turned on by
it, that he just didn't want to stop and he didn't even want one back.
He kept telling the other guy behind me how much of an animal I was and
bla bla. I just kept laughing because he had no idea I was using your
techniques on him, and it was working. This is from an EXTREMELY COCKY
guy who normally has the girls on HIM giving HIM the massages. SO,
thanks to your newsletters I have a harness on this guy. He is just my
practice though! I wouldn't go for a guy like him because in my eyes,
I'm way out of his league! He's attractive, but since he fell for it,
he's a dud! It works for both guys and girls Dave. Keep up the good work
and I hope you liked my little example turning things around for once!
I would love to buy your ebook when i get some extra money. Thanks for
all of your helpfulfree tips!!!
L, in Orlando
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, this might be a problem. I mean, women taking this stuff and using
it on us guys? Well, I guess it isn't all bad...
I actually enjoy women who use this stuff more than boring,
unimaginative women who just like to stand around and look good.
lol...
In fact, one of the most interesting, fun, and intense experiences a guy
can have is running into a woman like yourself, and having to deal with
the challenge of not knowing where he stands...
I guess the bar is going up. Thanks for your email. By the way, send
pictures next time.
***QUESTION***
Hi David,
You DVD program has made me get up from the sofa and do something about
my love life. No real success yet but I can now see beyond my fears and
actually approach women.
As you recommended I started using the Internet as A 'women simulator',
it's great and I think I'm doing fine with the cocky and funny stuff.
For example, I call my self "too witty for you" and in my description I
write "don't please don't... well OK - are you cute?" and it works :-)
Sadly, I can't give example from the chats since they are in Hebrew but
you know... it's even funnier in Hebrew.
My question is simple: you said to move quickly from the chat to the
phone. Well, do you have a "3 minute phone technique" adopted for the
chats? (the problem is that I can't say something like "I going back to
my friends" like I do in a bar).
Thanks,
U.W. from Israel.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Nice!
Maybe you can work with me soon on the "Ultimate Comprehensive Guide To
Cocky & Funny Online Chat In Hebrew". I answered this question above,
but loved your email so I had to include it. When you're online, you
have to REALLY go the extra mile and EXXXXXAGGGGERATE everything.
You can't just say "You seem cool, let's talk sometime". You have to say
"You're a pain. I'll bet you can't keep this up live on a telephone.
You're probably too much of a scardey-cat to even TRY it...". Work it.
Try things. You'll find that these kinds of challenges work VERY well
online.
***QUESTION***
I'm only 18 and even look young for my age, I got into this newsletter
while researching about attraction for a college level course I was
taking in High school. I've found out about pheromones, facial and body
symmetry, gestures, colors etc... You're newsletters surprised me the
most. It makes sense to me just reading what you have to say, realizing
that the things you "need to do" aren't seemingly nice or logical, but
they work. Before your newsletters, I thought that I looked too young or
something negative about myself.
But recently, I've had amazing "luck" with girls because of the things
I've learned from you. I had been introduced to a very attractive girl
from out of town a few days ago and have been trying some of your
techniques. I've made eye contact and waited for her to look away first,
been C & F, teased with sexual contact leaving her dumbfounded and
wanting me more etc. etc. All I can say is that it's amazing how your
strategies work, like learning how to ride a bike. This girl just left
back to her home town and is calling me non stop almost every day.
Unfortunately, I can't get to the part where I can buy your book, the
window just closes. I'd love to read it for more information but if it's
possible, could you just send out more examples of great things you've
done so that I'll have more examples of different situations? I loved
the ones you've used of waitresses or at bars, but what about other
places, other conversations that might trigger different C & F comments?
Thanks again!
I-Colorado.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
First of all, if you ever have any kind of trouble ordering something
from me, or problems with the website, just shoot an email to either
questions or support @doubleyourdating.com
One thing I've found out in the last couple of years is that the
internet is FAR from perfect. There are all kinds of strange issues that
come up online, and most of them are little technical things that can be
fixed easily. So shoot in an email if you ever need help.
To answer your question, I think you should take some time yourself and
think through various situations...
Take out a piece of paper, and write "Bookstore" at the top.
Then list 3 different situations:
1) She's reading a magazine
2) She's in the romance section.
3) She's in line at the counter.
Then, under each one, come up with 10 different possible comments you
could make. If you take some time and THINK about it, you'll come up
with all kinds of great stuff. Keep reading these mailbags, you'll get
some killer ideas as well.
***QUESTION***
David,
I've enjoyed your newsletter and have just ordered the DVDs. In reading
the emails, I've thought about what you say in the context of a
relationship I had that ended fairly recently. Sure enough, in the
beginning, I teased and flirted and she ate it up. Then she had an
injury, and I became the caring mate and lost my edge with her, I
suppose. Well, as you can guess, as she recovered, she dumped me. I
wasn't counting on her as being "the one," but she was hot, and I would
have preferred to have it end a little more on my terms.
Here's my question: Any suggestions on how to make her second-guess her
decision. I don't really have much "natural" contact with her anymore. I
don't want her back -- I'll be too busy trying my new skills out on
other women -- but there would be great satisfaction in knowing that she
was having second thoughts.
I look forward to going through the course, not just for the help with
women, but it sounds like there will be other benefits as well. Thanks.
S in NY
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, I have some bad news...
The first part of the bad news is that I'm not going to answer your
question. The second part of the bad news is that I'm going to use your
email to make fun of you. The reason I'm not going to answer your
question is that you're BETTER than this. It's WEAK to want to make
someone else feel bad or second-guess themselves.
There's no good reason for it... and it only demonstrates that you're
weak on the INSIDE. The reason I'm making fun of you is because it's a
good way of dealing with the reality of...
EVERY GUY DEALS WITH THIS.
For whatever reason, we humans are a little crazy. We do things and want
things that make no sense. What the hell does it matter if she
second-guesses her decision to leave you? I mean, you don't talk to her
anymore, and she's moving on with her life.
Just move on.
Spend the time that you would have wasted making her feel bad on
IMPROVING YOURSELF. And START with this petty need to have the upper
hand with someone who's not even a part of your life. Look, we've all
been there. Just move on. Like I said, you're BETTER THAN THAT. This is
the weak side of you. Focus on developing strength, so you don't have a
need to do this sort of thing.
***QUESTION***
David,
I ordered your Advanced CD series as part of the three month offer, and
I must say that it has some really good stuff in it. The part about
never answering a direct question is awesome. My birthday was yesterday,
and a couple girls came over with my roommate's girlfriend. One of them
asked me how old I was, so I got a shocked look on my face and asked,
"How much do you weigh?" All the girls busted out laughing and wouldn't
leave me alone the rest of the night. They asked my brother how old he
was (we're twins), and he just said "Same age as him." Phenomenal stuff.
Anyway, on to my question. One of the girls that was there, the one that
asked me how old I was the first time, is really shy. I've met her three
or four other times, but I realized after last night that I know almost
nothing about her because she rarely talks unless I directly ask her
something. Like last night, when it felt like the party was starting to
wind down and get boring, I decreed that everyone had to tell one funny
story, and I led off with a story about how I hit another car the first
time I took my driver's test. We were all having a bunch of fun, but
when it got to be her turn to share a story, she said she didn't have
any good stories. She's a cute girl, but it's a turn off that she never
takes the initiative. My roommate says that she's really cool, she just
doesn't feel comfortable around people she doesn't know. So my question
is, are girls like this worth the trouble of breaking through their
shell? If so, how do you get past their shyness? I've used the cocky and
funny, and my personal trick of story telling, but she doesn't seem to
respond back. And I really hate when I share some good stories and get
nothing back in return.
Thanks,
A
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, GREAT comeback to "How old are you?". Very nice. By answering "How
much do you weigh?" you said ALL the right things.
This is Cocky & Funny at its best.
Now on to your question...
Here's the deal. Humans LOVE a challenge. It's always amazing to me how
a person will pass up something easy for something that's a major
challenge...
In your case, you obviously have quite a few options in your life in the
female department, but you choose to focus on the shy one who
doesn't respond to you. What's with that?
Remember, some women just aren't interesting on the inside. Some are too
shy. Some are hurt. Some aren't emotionally available. Some hate men.
Some are gay (YES!). Some aren't (NO!). Keep your options open. If she
doesn't respond, move on. Don't make it your personal challenge to take
an uninteresting woman and make her interesting. It's her issue, not
yours. Go find an interesting woman!
***QUESTION***
Your ebook is great. I went on a second date the other day and I used
the "is she ready for a kiss where you stroke her hair first" technique
and it worked like a charm. She actually kissed me. I may have skipped
over this part of the book on accident but anyways, is there a way to
know if a woman has a boyfriend or not? Thanks.
D.B.
Tucson, AZ
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Great job! You know, with all the emails, success stories, and questions
I get, I still enjoy the simple ones the most. When a guy writes in
because he just got his first number from a girl, or his first kiss,
those are the ones that make me the most excited. If you want to know if
a girl has a boyfriend, the first thing to notice is whether or not
she's open to flirting with you. Girls who are "taken" and "happily
taken" at that are usually less flirtatious than women who are
"available".
Now, this is a generalization, and there are a lot of exceptions. But if
you ask a woman for her number, and she gives it to you, then goes out
with you, then kisses you, then she's probably single. If you REALLY
want to know, just ask. I like to look a woman directly in the eye when
I'm first talking to her and say...
"Are you single?"
It's great. Most women don't expect it AT ALL in the beginning, and it
says all the right things. Most guys say things like "You probably have
a boyfriend, huh?". This is WUSSY TALK. It's the same thing that the
last 100 guys have said to her, and it's lame. When you look a woman
directly in the eye and ask "Are you single?" it communicates strength.
Then you can go into the 3 minute email/number technique and get her
information.
Did this article shine some light on your present dating success and
how you can improve? Sure it did.
I know it did, because I've been there. As a result
of my sharing what I know to guys like you, (I receive emails from guys
every day that have dating advice questions) I can honestly say that you
need to take two more steps to start your own successful dating
lifestyle.
Did this article shine some light on your present dating success and
how you can improve? Sure it did.
I know it did, because I've been there. As a result
of my sharing what I know to guys like you, (I receive emails from guys
every day that have dating advice questions) I can honestly say that you
need to take two more steps to start your own successful dating
lifestyle.
First:
click here and join my free weekly newsletter. That's where I answer
the most interesting and original of the advice questions I get daily
from guys that want to date more and better.
Second:
Download my ebook "Double Your Dating". I sell it for only $19.97
and you'll find inside the ebook more of the successful techniques,
tried and true, that help any guy get the dates he wants. And it comes
with THREE great bonus booklets that aren't available anywhere else.
Get serious now. End disappointment. Start here:
www.DoubleYourDating.com
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
P.S. Do some friends a favor, and FORWARD this
article to their email addresses. It might be the biggest gift you ever
give them.
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