The Seven Mirrors of Relationships

Relationships are challenging, exciting, scary, fulfilling, disappointing, sometimes lacking and sometimes blissful. It doesn't really matter what the nature of the relationship is,....the bottom line is that we all need relationships as human beings. We think of relationships as a part of everyday life...but how often do you think of your relationships .... whether they be friendships, lovers, spousal, life-partnerships, siblings or parents... as potential for your spiritual growth and evolution? Well, they are! They are also mirrors of ourselves.

We live in an Action Reaction World known as the Plane of Demonstration where Consciousness Creates Reality. We manifest and magnetize people and events into our lives according to our consciousness. The Seven mirrors is a way of understanding how this process works. We can use what seem to be negative experiences as stepping stones to healing and empowerment. "When life rolls boulders, build stairs."

FIRST MIRROR reflects to us that which we are. It is something we ourselves are doing or where we ourselves have been in error or wounded.

SECOND MIRROR reflects to us that which we judge. It is something we have an emotional charge with, something we have either been wounded by in the past and have not forgiven. It is good to discern; however if we judge and condemn with an emotional charge, we will attract exactly what we judge into our lives.

THIRD MIRROR reflects back to us something we Lost, Gave Away, or had Taken Away. When we see something we love and desire in another, it is often something we have lost, given away or had stolen in our own lives. Every relationship is a relationship with self and often we try to reclaim what was lost, we gave away, or had taken away as a child. It could be joy, innocence, honesty and integrity, courage or love. All of which can be reclaimed within self.

FOURTH MIRROR reflects back to us our most forgotten love. This could be a way of life, a lost or unfinished relationship. Often it is a past life where a wrong conclusion from past experience was created. These will recreate themselves over and over until the right conclusion is registered in the soul as wisdom.

FIFTH MIRROR reflects back to us Father/Mother. It is often said we marry our father or mother. We also often become them acting out the same healthy and unhealthy patterns we learned as a child. Our fathers and mothers to us as children are Gods. It will often reflect the same relationship we have with others and the Father/Mother God principle.

SIXTH MIRROR reflects back to us the Quest for Darkness or what is often referred to as the Dark Night of the Soul. This is when we meet our greatest challenges, our greatest fears and have been gathering the tools and understandings in life to confront them. God never gives one any more than they can handle and we have a choice in every experience to greet it as a powerful manifesting God/Goddess or a victim.

SEVENTH MIRROR reflects back to us our self perception. Others will perceive and treat us according to how we perceive and treat ourselves. If we have a low self-esteem and do not acknowledge our wisdom and beauty, others will not acknowledge them. If we are angry, bitter and unloving to others, they in turn will often react in the same way towards us. If we change our perception of ourselves, we change the world. Maybe it is time to be kind, loving and compassionate to ourselves and others. Remember the saying, "The only reason anyone has power over you is you want something from them?" Maybe that something whether it be love, joy, or a personal God connection can all be found from within?

Are there "true love" Relationships?

Often observations of the world today seem to indicate that there are more people getting divorced, getting cheated on, and breaking up than there are happy couples that are in love and stay in love.

If we base our idea of what true love is on children's fairy tales, we might think that finding prince charming or an enchanting princess and living happily ever after is the ultimate goal. Movies often portray this same storybook image — that falling in love is really just that: falling, out of control, toward that one person who is meant to be with you and you alone.

But for most mortals, striving for such ideals is unrealistic, and may even leave us feeling unfulfilled or let down. The reality is that being and staying in love takes continual work and patience, even though this might not seem utterly romantic, in that storybook sense. Couples who have healthy relationships find ways of working together, and this in and of itself could be considered a sign of true love.

It's true that in many cultures, people who are "in love" create long-term partnerships and/or get married. We may hear of the ever-rising divorce rate, but lots of these couples do actually stay together. Yes, there are couples that have been married for 60 years and still feel passionately in love, and there are others who care deeply for one another even though the lust is gone (or maybe never existed!)

These long-lasting relationships really do exist, but we just don't hear about them as often. Most of the time, people (and the media) talk more about the break-ups than the relationships that maintain themselves over many years because it makes for more interesting (and profitable) gossip. Of course, sometimes we may not even want to hear about the happy, lovey-dovey couples because we're feeling romantically unlucky or lovelorn ourselves.

Keep in mind that the reasons why some relationships don't last are as varied as the different kinds of people we are; in many cases, the partners simply grow apart because they have grown and changed as individuals, and seek different, more fulfilling opportunities for love. If a particular couple "falls out of love," yet each partner goes on to seek a more satisfying love with another person, could this be an example of "true love" in action?

Love can also vary by degrees: some couples feel deeply intense and passionate, while others appreciate one another for intellectual reasons or admire one another's ambition, dedication, or creativity. When is the last time you read a fairy tale where the main characters appreciated each other's brilliant musicianship, eloquent writing, or compassion for humanity? (Well, maybe in Shakespeare's writings...)

Perhaps, just for fun though, it might help to look at this elusive "true love" in another light. Look around you and see all of the expressions of love in our world: people devoting huge chunks of their lives for the human rights of others, people setting aside time to volunteer and help others in their community, parents and caregivers protecting and nurturing their children and families, young people learning from and sharing things with their grandparents. Or, how about giving and receiving unconditional love to and from the animals in our lives?

So, are humans capable of staying in love? We would guess that they are, as there are lots of models around us of people who love and care deeply about one another. Some people follow the philosophy of "better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." Instead of looking at all the heartaches around us, why not look to all of the examples of the different types of love in the world? Perhaps if we think of love as a broadly defined term, it's possible to see "true love" all around us.

 

What are some ways to identify and deal with unhealthy relationships?

Throughout our lives, we are involved with many different kinds of relationships. We have friendships, romances, work and school-related connections, familial ties, and, quite often, relations that defy categorization. Each of these situations has the potential to enrich us, adding to our feelings of self-worth, enjoyment, and growth. These relationships are healthy.

On the other hand, in other situations, we may find ourselves feeling uncomfortable. It can be difficult to come to the realization that a lover, friend, colleague, or family member is not treating us with the respect we deserve. Keep in mind that in all kinds of relationships, there is likely to be some disagreement, need for compromise, and times of frustration. These alone do not necessarily indicate that a relationship is unhealthy.

Here are some things to think about when considering whether a particular bond is a healthy one or not.

In a healthy relationship, you:

Treat each other with respect
Feel secure and comfortable
Are not violent with each other
Can resolve conflicts satisfactorily
Enjoy the time you spend together
Support one another
Take interest in one another's lives: health, family, work, etc.
Have privacy in the relationship
Can trust each other
Are each sexual by choice
Communicate clearly and openly
Have letters, phone calls, and e-mail that are your own
Make healthy decisions about alcohol or other drugs
Encourage other friendships
Are honest about your past and present sexual activity if the relationship is intimate
Know that most people in your life are happy about the relationship
Have more good times in the relationship than bad

In an unhealthy relationship, one or both of you:

Try to control or manipulate the other
Make the other feel bad about her-/himself
Ridicule or call names
Dictate how the other dresses
Do not make time for each other
Criticize the other's friends
Are afraid of the other's temper
Discourage the other from being close with anyone else
Ignore each other when one is speaking
Are overly possessive or get jealous about ordinary behavior
Criticize or support others in criticizing people with your gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, disability, or other personal attribute
Control the other's money or other resources (e.g., car)
Harm or threaten to harm children, family, pets, or objects of personal value
Push, grab, hit, punch, or throw objects
Use physical force or threats to prevent the other from leaving.

Sometimes it's not so easy to decide if a troublesome tie should be maintained the way it is, worked on, or ended before it goes any further. One thing to consider is if the relationship was ever different than it is now. Is there something stressful happening that could be impacting the way you interact? Maybe money is tight, you've moved, are looking for work, are dealing with a difficult family circumstance, or are going through some other kind of transition..

Or maybe there are problems from a while back that were never resolved, and are now resurfacing. What in particular is bothering you, and what would you like to see change? Talk over these questions with each other, or with someone you trust, like a friend, teacher, or counselor. Think about what, if anything, you can each do to make the other feel more comfortable in the relationship.

If a partner, friend, or colleague is harming you or your loved ones physically, emotionally, or sexually, it's time to seek help. If s/he is encouraging other harmful behaviors, like abuse of alcohol or other drugs, unsafe sexual activity, or other activities that make you feel uncomfortable, you have a right to leave.

There are a lot of resources available to help you. Perhaps the most important thing to do is to trust your instincts and the people close to you whose opinions you trust and value. Each and every one of us deserves to feel safe, valued, and cared for. Keep in mind that one of the strongest signs of a healthy relationship is that both people involved feel good about themselves. Also, by treating yourself with self-respect and believing in your right to be treated well, you are taking important steps towards developing equitable, mutually fulfilling ties in the future.

"Always keep your heart in heaven." "Love and allow!"

Unlike most relationships with attachment, unfulfilled desires, expectations, codependency's and confusion, The Sacred Relationship transcends these challenges and it is where everyone is heading. Many know the old relationships and ways of interacting with each other are coming to a close yet have no idea what the new way or relationship is thus they are often left floundering in pain, suffering and confusion.

We can have love, compassion and even passion without attachment. We can have anger without hate, discernment without judgment and condemnation and expression without suppression. When we do not express due to fear of loosing the love, acceptance, approval of another and suppress in denial, we create an energy block which can eventually end up in disease or when the dam breaks a burst of anger and resentment issues forth upon whomever is in the path. Expression without suppression, denial and insecurity also helps others to evolve by giving them the information they need to go forward.

If we truly desire a sacred relationship we must first take full responsibility for our own attitudes, emotions and actions. It is no longer appropriate to project, blame or make another responsible for our lives, the love, joy, happiness and even the abundance we are experiencing. There is a saying, "The only reason anyone has any power over you is because you want something from them."

Whether it be love, joy, acceptance, approval or even security, these are all attributes to be and not seek through others or outer experiences. Be love, joy and happiness. Accept and approve of yourself. Be secure within yourself and manifest your own abundance. Become sovereign and establish a sacred relationship with self. Love yourself enough not to participate in all the other dramas, especially those which another has not chosen to heal and go forward. Take the time necessary to heal yourself of any wounds, traumas and wrong conclusions from past experiences.

We live in an Action/Reaction world known as the plane of demonstration where consciousness creates reality. We magnetize people and events to us according to our consciousness. Is it not wise to first heal ourselves, love, accept and approve of ourselves and then magnetize people and events to us which are a reflection of our own self-love, self-acceptance, self-approval, as well as our own happiness and security? The ultimate sacred relationship is to become one with the loving, joyous, wise and powerful manifesting God within and allow that love to flow through you unconditionally and unattached to others and all life. This is where we are all headed eventually.

We invite you to explore the private sessions offered for your personal growth and enjoyment. They will enrich your intimate relationships, restore your physical vitality and create balance in your life. Passion is a word that is often misunderstood. We encourage you to reclaim this energy and use it to empower and enhance your day to day reality. It is our passion to teach a way of life that honors the body, heart, mind and soul as being sacred. We deeply respect your intent to explore the nature of your soul and it's unlimited creative abilities.

Personal, Non-Judgmental Help Overcoming Challenges in Your Relationships

Any relationship can be challenging. It is within the challenge that you will find the most potential! Whatever the stresses and strains on your relationship, Lilly can offer a way forward. She counsels close to 5,000 couples and individuals a year. She is not here to make judgments about the rights or wrongs of relationship difficulties. Her role is to listen, to encourage you to talk openly about your concerns, and help you reach your own decisions about the best way forward.

In a session with Lilly you'll learn:

* A visualization technique to help you discover the spiritual agreements you have with your loved ones.

* How to update old agreements and clear out stuck places, so you can both have what you need now.

* How to learn what the people in your life have come to teach you. . . . and how to offer them space to grow, too.

* How to pay attention to your own intuition in your relationships

* Most importantly, you'll be learning a lot about your own relationships and new ways to nurture them.


Tending a relationship is a lot like tending your garden--it grows much better and is more vital when you put your attention on it! So take some time to put some attention back into your relationships.
 

Karmic Influences in Relationships

Relationship consultations cover past incarnations experienced together, the spiritual opportunities and challenges of those incarnations and the appropriate path to walk in your present life to clear karmic influences. Karmic relationships usually last from five to seven years. At the end of that cycle relationships often end but the love for one another is still present.

Breaking out of a relationship when two people are still in love can be traumatic. By understanding your past history together a deeper insight into the governing forces of your present relationship is acquired. This insight can give you the transformational tools needed to create a loving expression of support towards one another as you walk forward in this life together or individually.