What is self esteem? You can’t touch it, but it affects how you feel. You can’t see it, but it’s there when you look at yourself in the mirror. You can’t hear it, but it’s there every time you talk about yourself.
Esteem (say: ehs-teem) is a fancy word for valuing someone or something, or thinking that someone or something is important. Self-esteem is the collection of beliefs or feelings that we have about ourselves.
Building your self esteem
We often use the expression “good self-esteem, “poor” self-esteem or “no” self-esteem. How does one “esteem” the self and what is the self anyway? Esteem involves loving respect and dignified caring. What of the self? We come into the world with it; it follows us through life like a shadow. If we lose it, we are lost. It is profoundly affected by what happens to us along life’s path.
We find ways to protect the self from hurt: sometimes we put our armor on to stop it from being injured. It becomes our friend or our enemy–we like it or loathe it. We live with the self in relative harmony or we battle it mightily through life. We punish our bodies when we associate it with our hated self. We esteem this central part of us or we dis-esteem it and cause ourselves misery.
How to build self esteem and self confidence
Begin a new life by building self esteem and self confidence at work and in your daily life. Building self esteem will enable you to live in joy. Start building self esteem now! A healthy self-esteem is your key to happiness and success. Check out the building self esteem suggestions below to see how you can increase your self esteem, self confidence and self worth.
Below you will learn about; poor self-esteem vs. healthy self-esteem, where does self-Esteem come from?, consequences of low self-esteem, and the steps to better self-esteem. Get help with low self esteem and experience a sense of accomplishment that bolsters your developing self-esteem. It is essential to better understand what self-esteem is..
Here are some basic elements of self-esteem:
- TRUST starts early in life and is based on how we are received into the world. We learn to trust ourselves and begin to have a realistic trust of others. We begin to develop confidence in the self’s ability to choose others who are safe–who will not injure or exploit.
- SELF-NURTURE is born of trust–we learn how to be caretakers of ourselves. Self-nurturing is an essential ingredient of self-esteem.
- AUTONOMY comes from mastery. We work through necessary dependencies, to a growing independence. We find interdependence when we can separate ourselves from others around us and yet retain vital connections to others.
- IDENTITY grows. We begin to know who we are and who we are becoming. In each stage of life, self-esteem undergoes change and growth. We fool more solid as our identity grows.
- INTIMACY develops from identity and the need for connection. It is the ability to relate closely and to know the limits of closeness. We yearn to lose ourselves in love and yet we need to retain our own separate essence.
Healthy self-esteem involves all of the basic elements. If we lose these characteristics or never develop them, there is a significant absence of self-esteem. “Low” self-esteem affects our body, mind and spirit. None of us spring full blown into the world with characteristics fully developed. Their creation takes work. So what can we do…?
Steps toward a higher level of self-esteem begin by taking action:
- Determine your personal attributes–positive things about your physical, mental and emotional self such as the way you look (body image, color of hair and eyes); your mind and emotions; skills you have and those you are developing; your potential; your values.
- Practice becoming comfortable with yourself. Don’t try to measure up using someone else’s standards. Genuine self-esteem comes from within.
- Focus on your accomplishments. Congratulate yourself for achievements, however big or small. Remind yourself daily of the things you do well and of the courage you have shown in the past or present.
- Choose to risk in order to succeed. Establish realistic goals that are your won and are high enough to satisfy you. Learn from failure. If you have setbacks, become a problem solver. Examine strategies and objectives which may have to be revised in order to succeed. Refuse to deal with self-defeating patterns.
- Learn to be realistic and accept the fact that you aren’t perfect at everything and you don’t have to be. Stop condemning your faults–change what you can and accept yourself by also acknowledging your virtues.
- Learn to laugh at past disappointments when you can. Use them as opportunity for insight and growth. Be compassionate with yourself.
- Visualize success. Mentally rehearse winning in everything you do before you do it.
- Nurture yourself by taking care of your health. Eat well, get enough sleep and exercise. Learn to play.
- Develop a support system of people you trust who will listen when you need to talk.
- Let go of resentment, guilt and revenge. Forgive yourself and others. Recognize that you are unique and have a place of importance in this world.
- Meditate and call up your inner child. Recognize what hurts in your past and try to imagine giving your inner child what he/she needs to heal. If you feel overwhelmed, seek help from a professional.
Sometimes we are out of touch with ourselves. We can be dismayed to find that self-esteem can cause us major stress. When it does, it is a good idea to seek professional help. As we meet this life challenge, we experience health and vitality. Take it on and struggle to grow.
1. Put yourself and your well-being first. This may sound selfish at first glance. But in order for any of us to be happy and supportive and productive employers, workers, husbands, wives, parents or friends, we have to be healthy first! If we are not in good physical, emotional, and spiritual condition, it will be very hard for us to be of good help to the others in our life, professionally or personally.
2. Take steps to eliminate clutter, noise, distractions, and people who drain your energy.. Some people live in clutter, thrive on noise, and allow themselves to be drained by demanding friends and acquaintances. If any of this sounds familiar, you can do something about it NOW. Clear off your desk, skip television and radio for a week, and distance yourself from those who use you to meet their needs.
3. Treat your body as the temple that it is.
4. Spend the month doing something very, very selfish each day. Make a list of things you really want to have or do and have been putting off (don’t go over your budget). Then one day at a time JUST DO IT!
5. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin instead of wishing you were in someone else’s.
6. Avoid putting everyone’s needs before your own.
7. List all of your strengths. Think three positive thoughts about yourself before falling asleep at night and before getting out of bed each morning.
Six ways to enhance your life and self esteem
1. Set aside one hour every morning for personal development matters. Meditate, visualize your day, read inspirational texts to se the tone of your day, listen to motivational tapes or read great literature. Starting the day off well is a powerful strategy for self-renewal and personal effectiveness.
2. The quality of your life is the quality of your communication. This means the way you communicate with others and, more importantly, the way you communicate with yourself. What you focus on is what you get. If you look for the positive this is what you get.
3. Light a candle beside you when you are reading in the evening. It is most relaxing and creates a wonderful, soothing atmosphere.
4. Make your home an oasis from the frenzied world outside. Fill it with great music, great books and great friends.
5. Learn to be still. The average person doesn’t spend even 30 minutes a month in total silence and tranquility. Develop the skill of sitting quietly, enjoying the powerful silence for at least 10 minutes a day. Simply think about what is important to you in your life. Reflect on your mission. Silence indeed is golden.
6. Associate only with positive focused people who you can learn from and who will not drain your valuable energy with complaining and uninspiring attitudes. By developing relationships with those committed to constant improvement and the pursuit of the best that life has to offer, you will have plenty of company on your path to the top of whatever mountain you seek to climb.
How to improve self esteem
Restore your self esteem, self worth, and self confidence
Reassess, Reaffirm, and Rejoice
With each new year comes a fresh start, a chance to wipe the slate clean, to make way for a happier, healthier, better you. Together, our beliefs, our deeds and our dreams set the stage for tomorrow. Are you up to it? We challenge you to reflect on these 25 questions.
There are no right or wrong answers, as long as you’re honest with yourself. And there’s ample room for serious insight. Let your thoughts guide you toward the future, renewed in body, mind and soul.
1. If I had an extra hour of free time a day, how would I spend it?
2. Are my personal priorities in order? What am I neglecting?
3. What is my goal for the upcoming year? Have I taken my first step toward achieving it?
4. Have I given up on any dreams or goals I wish I hadn’t? Can I pick up where I left off?
5. Am I as healthy as I want to be? Do I treat my body as well as I could?
6. Who are my heroes- and why? Am I anyone’s hero?
7. Is there room for more love in my life? What steps am I taking toward that end?
8. Am I having enough fun? Do I find something to laugh at every day?
9. Do I spend too much time worrying about things I can’t control?
10. Can I stand on my own two feet or do I need someone to take care of me?
11. What’s the best part of me that no one else sees? What can I do to share it?
12. What’s my outlook? Do I embrace new experiences or do I avoid the unfamiliar and stick to what I know?
13. Can I see things from a different perspective? When did I last walk in somebody else’s shoes?
14. Are there any apologies I need to make? Is there anyone I’ve lost touch with and want to call? What’s stopping me?
15. Do I feel valued as a parent? A spouse? An employee? A friend?
16. Do I put too much pressure on my loved ones? Do I put too much pressure on myself?
17. Am I happy with my relationship with God? Am I committed spiritually as I would like to be?
18. How do I feel in my own home? Comfortable and safe, or tense and on guard?
19. Do I hold too much anger in my heart? Are there any grudges I’m willing to let go?
20. Have I ever been held back by fear of failure? What’s the worst thing that could happen if I act with more courage from now on? What’s the best?
21. If I could start my life over again knowing what I know now, what would I do differently? What would I not change?
22. Do I make the most of everyday? Do I celebrate the little things – a ripe orange or a sunny day?
23. Could I push myself harder at home or at work? Could I stand to ease up a little?
24. Am I good about granting myself life’s little rewards? Do I stop and celebrate when I achieve a goal?
25. What 25 things do I want to accomplish before I die?
Change your life and self esteem by changing the way you perceive the world
A spiritual guidance session can help you l earn how to:
- Steer your own life rather than being buffeted by circumstance, enjoy the feeling of freedom, develop huge self esteem – permanently
- make petty annoyances a thing of the past
- develop and fulfill your ambitions
- find contentment in your everyday life
- create your own ‘luck’
- avoid the 2 mistakes most unsuccessful people make
- discover who it is that stops you from being happy
- fill your days with passion
- why the grass *isn’t* greener on the other sid
- get things into perspective